How To Keep Antagonists In A Healthy Perspective?
Why did she treat me that way? Why is he not supporting me? I feel like you don’t want me to succeed in life?
Often, my mother told us that “everyone has a role to play.” Yet, sometimes, it’s easy to lose sight that both protagonists (supportive people)and antagonists (nonsupportive people) help us live our truths.
During my childhood, I started seeing the world as one big movie, which helped me to be more observant instead of judgmental. A major component of my healing was realizing everyone had a role to play in my life. People were helping me on a deeper level.
So, many people, including Jesus, experienced obstacles to living out their truths. What about the lives of great leaders such as Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, Mahatma Gandhi, presidents (John F. Kennedy, Abraham Lincoln), teacher Lou Ann Johnson (Dangerous Minds), and principal Joe Clark (Lean On Me)?
Take a moment and glance over your life. Can you list a few antagonists and protagonists? I bet you came up with a few at least two or three of each. So, the point is that no matter what, we will encounter people who help us accomplish our goals and others who seem to place barriers (disbelief, inconsistency, harm us emotionally, mentally, physically, sexually, spiritually, don’t do what we ask them to do, tell our secrets, make fun of us, create violent acts, betray us, and others) no matter what we do or say.
So, how do we respond to our antagonists? Our response starts in our minds. How do you perceive life and the people in it?
Here are a few questions to ponder?
- Do you believe that everyone has a part to play in your life? Know that you will have people who will not support you.
- Do you believe that you cause people to be upset with you or “fight against you?” Often what people do has nothing to do with us. However, people come into our lives with their experiences and perceptions. Your success may remind them of their doubts and insecurities.
- Does your happiness depend on who supports you or not? The people against you may start supporting you, and the people who supported you may no longer do so. Say no thank you to the emotional rollercoaster and keep believing in yourself and your dream.
- Do you believe the universe is out to get you? See the distractions (help to increase your confidence and conviction to purpose) for what they are. Recently, I relearned that everything works together for my good. I have no enemies, just people who are helping me to be more creative, efficient, and perseverant.
Here are a few movies to help clarify the antagonist role. I hope I didn’t give away too much information about the movies if you haven’t seen them.
- Antagonists help us to see we have the skills to succeed in life? Think about the movie, The Last Dragon. Eventually, with the help of Sho’nuff, Leroy realizes the person he was searching for was himself.
- Antagonists help us realize that we are somebody. For example, a small-time boxer thought he was a nobody. Apollo Creed brought out the confidence that Rocky always had.
- If Cinderella had not experienced unequal treatment from her stepmother and stepsisters, would she have gone to the ball to meet her Prince and future husband?
We all have antagonists in our life. When we no longer see our antagonists as enemies and more as the jumpstarters to our truth, we are no longer the victim but the student of life. We learn who we are. I do not minimize our trials and tribulations, but I don’t want to make our struggles and antagonists our primary focus. If we focus on people’s actions and inactions, we get stuck. Our primary focus is to carry out our mission in life (your heart’s desire). I don’t want anyone to be stuck, for living is moving forward in life.
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MSN BSN RN, Integrative Nutrition Health Coach, ACE Fitness Instructor, CDCES
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