Be a #leader. Take care of your health. Be there for your family. Read/Study those things that intrigue you. Eat healthy foods. Increase your physical activity consistently. Take care of those who took care of you. Follow your gut. Choose loving actions instead of actions grounded in insecurity, jealousy or hatred.
If we have not made a desired goal a priority, how do we expect to achieve that goal in a desired time? We will always be able to think of reasons not to start, continue, or finish a project. We all have “life issues.” And, we all have 24 hours in a day.
I am not trying to undervalue what someone is going through. In fact as a coach, mentor, and a human being, I aim to understand what someone is going through and offer strategies to help them overcome perceived barriers.
Life is definitely a balancing act and a chance to tap into your unlimited creativity.
Is it beneficial to continue the same familial behaviors “just because that is the way it has always been done.” “My mother, father, grandmother, aunt, uncle and everyone else did it this way, so I will, too.”
Are we carrying comfort, joy, love, peace into the next generations or anger, bitterness, disappointments, or hatred into next generations? Are we researching to see if there is a better strategy to getting something done? For example, I read online how many parents are using meditation to help their child confront negative behaviors and adapt more positive behaviors through self-reflection and inner wisdom instead of whipping their children.
Ultimately, are we becoming the best person we know how to be and helping our children to do the same?
What would your answer be to the below questions?
1. If you have been diagnosed with diabetes and had a family member to die because of diabetes complications, should you stop preventative behaviors (checking your blood sugar, eating healthy and in moderation, consistent physical activity) because you believe that you will die of the same complications, too. Why or why not?
Are you upset that your mother did not take better care of her health and left you at a young age that you vow to never have children?
2. If your parents whipped you with a switch until your skin split open and started bleeding, should you discipline your children the same way? Why or why not?
3. If your father stayed at a job until retirement, regretting that he never pursued what he was passionate about, should you do the same? Why or why not?
4. If you were raised by a single parent, and one of your parents was not there for you throughout your childhood, should you be the same way to your children? Why or why not?
5. If your mother never served home cooked meals, and you frequently visited drive thru or sit in restaurants, should you not learn how to cook for your family? Why or why not?
6. If your mother never graduated from high school, should you settle for dropping out of high school and never pursue a college degree, even though you want to be a nurse? Why or why not?
7. If you believe that you were not loved by your parents, and you had a dysfunctional household, should you withhold love from your children (no hugs, kisses, or compassion shown)?
8. If you believe that you raised yourself, should you set the same expectations for your child?
9. If you were locked in a room for two hours a day anytime you did something your parents did not like, should you do the same to your child?
We have the knowledge and the power to make better choices for ourselves and our family. We can always seek experts in the field (Diabetes educator, healthcare providers, dietitians, parenting coaches, online organizations/ support groups to make better life choices. If something bothered you or just did not feel right as a child, why continue the same behaviors? Our actions and inactions can have a direct or indirect influence on our children, schools, communities, and the world.
For example, angry children can become angry adults. Angry adults can become angry employees, employers, wives, husbands, policeman, firefighters, nurses, doctors, etc. If the anger is left unchecked, well, you know what can happen.
What we do behind closed doors, do not stay behind closed doors.
It is so easy to get so wrapped up in a conversation that you are talking instead of listening. My mother would always encourage us to listen. ” You will learn more from listening. Give the person time to speak.”
It is not always about what you know and impressing others. Sometimes people share things with you because they just need someone to listen to them. As long as our mental faculties are intact, we are capable of making our own decisions. Just listening to someone shows that you care and value what they have to say. See the bigger picture and not just the one incident. If you are nonjudgemental and an active listener (eye contact/face person, no other activities, paraphrase when asked, don’t interrupt, advise when asked, relaxed, etc. ), people will feel comfortable sharing more information with you. Remember that sometimes people hold back information until they feel safe.
Up and down you go,
Sometimes fast & sometimes slow,
To the left, to the right,
Until your dreams and goals appear out of sight.
Bouts of laughter, copious tears
Catching a glimpse of never-ending fears,
Keep your eyes on the prize.
You will look back with amazed eyes.
You are more than your circumstances.
Give yourself unlimited chances.
To soar as high as you can go,
You are where you belong and rightfully so
Stronger, clearer, and focused,
Beaten up, but not hopeless,
Sit back and relax, here comes your stop.
Look at you rising to the top.
Set realistic expectations & know every day may not go as planned. Have a Plan A, Plan B, and a Plan C. If you are always quitting when unexpected things happen, will this be your habitual way of handling life when things get “tough?”
Be prepared for what you ask for. If you want to live in New York, do not be surprised when the perfect job offer is in New York. If you prayed for a good man to show up, try not to self-sabotage the relationship because of your unresolved issues.
Remind yourself daily of your goals and dreams. I have my “mirror words” and flash cards at my bedside to remind me of what I want to accomplish. I also have a vision board above my desk. Maybe it is time to take up meditation and daily visualization for yourself. Put sticky notes where you can see them daily (frig, mirror, door, etc.)
Consistent work. There are days when we do not feel like doing whatever it is we should be doing (writing, practicing an instrument, making cold calls to get the word out about your business, etc.) I know I have days I just want to relax and not do anything. If we are not working towards our dreams/goals, who are we working for? If we want our life to change, we have to be willing to change our life. How many times have you lounge around the house and said you were not going to do anything that day? You were in your pajamas sitting on the couch watching your favorite TV show. Your friend call, and as soon as you heard the words, “I need you” for something, you got dressed in under 5 minutes.
Consistent work intensifies your desire to achieve your dreams/goals.
If you are consistent in your behavior, your actions will eventually become second nature (usually under 3 months).
If you can do it for others, you can do it for yourself. How can we truly be there for others when we cannot be there for ourselves?
If you are truly sorry for your behavior, then you will try not to do it anymore…whether it is:
1. Calling someone outside of his or her name….
2. Raising your voice at someone
3. Being late for an event that is important to someone else
4. Forgetting a birthday or anniversary and no known decrease in mental function
5. Turning in your homework past the deadline
6. Saying you were going to do something and you did not
7. Missing a scheduled call to discuss something
8. Hitting someone
9. Returning something you borrowed at a much later date or not at all
Mother held us accountable when we would apologize for our behavior. “Try your best not to do it again” is what our mother would say. Saying you are sorry should mean something. Words meant something, but your actions meant more.
#ActuallyAutistic - An Aspie obsessed with writing. This site is intend to inspire through sharing stories & experiences. The opinions of the writers are their own. I am just an Autistic woman - NOT a medical professional.