How To Keep Antagonists In A Healthy Perspective?

Why did she treat me that way? Why is he not supporting me? I feel like you don’t want me to succeed in life? 

Often, my mother told us that “everyone has a role to play.” Yet, sometimes, it’s easy to lose sight that both protagonists (supportive people)and antagonists (nonsupportive people) help us live our truths. 

During my childhood, I started seeing the world as one big movie, which helped me to be more observant instead of judgmental. A major component of my healing was realizing everyone had a role to play in my life. People were helping me on a deeper level.

So, many people, including Jesus, experienced obstacles to living out their truths. What about the lives of great leaders such as Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, Mahatma Gandhi, presidents (John F. Kennedy, Abraham Lincoln), teacher Lou Ann Johnson (Dangerous Minds), and principal Joe Clark (Lean On Me)?

Take a moment and glance over your life. Can you list a few antagonists and protagonists? I bet you came up with a few at least two or three of each. So, the point is that no matter what, we will encounter people who help us accomplish our goals and others who seem to place barriers  (disbelief, inconsistency, harm us emotionally, mentally, physically, sexually, spiritually, don’t do what we ask them to do, tell our secrets, make fun of us, create violent acts, betray us, and others) no matter what we do or say.

So, how do we respond to our antagonists? Our response starts in our minds. How do you perceive life and the people in it? 

Here are a few questions to ponder?

  1. Do you believe that everyone has a part to play in your life? Know that you will have people who will not support you. 
  2. Do you believe that you cause people to be upset with you or “fight against you?” Often what people do has nothing to do with us. However, people come into our lives with their experiences and perceptions. Your success may remind them of their doubts and insecurities. 
  3. Does your happiness depend on who supports you or not? The people against you may start supporting you, and the people who supported you may no longer do so. Say no thank you to the emotional rollercoaster and keep believing in yourself and your dream.
  4. Do you believe the universe is out to get you? See the distractions (help to increase your confidence and conviction to purpose) for what they are. Recently, I relearned that everything works together for my good. I have no enemies, just people who are helping me to be more creative, efficient, and perseverant.

Here are a few movies to help clarify the antagonist role. I hope I didn’t give away too much information about the movies if you haven’t seen them. 

  1. Antagonists help us to see we have the skills to succeed in life? Think about the movie, The Last Dragon. Eventually, with the help of Sho’nuff, Leroy realizes the person he was searching for was himself. 
  2. Antagonists help us realize that we are somebody. For example, a small-time boxer thought he was a nobody. Apollo Creed brought out the confidence that Rocky always had.
  3. If Cinderella had not experienced unequal treatment from her stepmother and stepsisters, would she have gone to the ball to meet her Prince and future husband?

We all have antagonists in our life. When we no longer see our antagonists as enemies and more as the jumpstarters to our truth, we are no longer the victim but the student of life. We learn who we are. I do not minimize our trials and tribulations, but I don’t want to make our struggles and antagonists our primary focus. If we focus on people’s actions and inactions, we get stuck. Our primary focus is to carry out our mission in life (your heart’s desire). I don’t want anyone to be stuck, for living is moving forward in life. 

Thanks for reading! If you found this article helpful, please share it with others.

Timika

MSN BSN RN, Integrative Nutrition Health Coach, ACE Fitness Instructor, CDCES

P.S. I would love for you to join my community of being bent on using our experiences as stepping stones to our divine purpose, healing from the inside out, and achieving and sustaining optimal health. Subscribe to @timikaschambers.com by clicking the link below.

Processing…
Success! You're on the list.

How To Walk Instead of Jumping The Expectation Hurdles

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

Often mother would say, “as long as people have a tongue, they will talk. Pay attention to their actions.” My mother was not telling us not to trust people but to leave some space between expectations and realizations. The Webster dictionary defines expect as 1. to consider probable or certain. 2. to consider reasonable due or necessary 3. to consider bound in duty or obligated. 4. to anticipate or look forward to the coming or occurrence. Other definitions include await, look forward, suppose, stay, or think, or wait (https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/expect). When I read the above definitions, I thought no wonder expectations could negatively affect us. We bound and wait for someone to do their duty. No wonder many of us put up with certain behaviors. We wait and hope the other person change without doing anything on our part.

Often, we put up with how others treat us and hope for the best. We hope someday soon they see the Light. But, the days, months, and years continue to be the same. We make excuses for people. They are stressed, unhappy, in pain, or others, and we end up stressed, unhappy, in pain, resentful, and others. We may even blame ourselves for what someone else does. How does that last sentence sound to you? We blame ourselves for what we cannot control in the first place.

Between the ages of 5–10, I waited for the two family members who misused my body, and I waited for them to do the right thing. What I learned was I had to speak up for myself to change my situation. I couldn’t wait on the two family members to decide my fate any longer. And, I continued to use my voice and legs to change and free myself from situations that did not benefit me. 

I didn’t want to keep jumping the hurdles. Instead, I exited the experience and kept walking.

As you know actions speak louder than words, and when people keep showing you they are not on the same level, it’s time to change. And I believe we don’t have to hurt others to make our requests known.

  1. Please pay attention to the actions of a person and their words. Do their actions and words match?
  2. Use your voice to tell someone how you feel and let others know about it. Keep speaking until someone believes you and helps you do something about the situation, especially if you are in an abusive situation.
  3. Remind people of your shared goal. Sometimes we get off track (personal, family, and other situations), and a friendly reminder is all we need.
  4. Make sure your actions and words match (living with integrity). I believe we do attract who we are. When we think less of ourselves, someone or something may try to prove our low sense of self-worth.

You deserve joy and peace. You are more than your experiences.

Make this lifetime great!

Timika

MSN BSN RN, Integrative Nutrition Health Coach, ACE Fitness Instructor, CDCES

P.S. I would love for you to join my community of being bent on using our experiences as stepping stones to our divine purpose, healing from the inside out, and achieving and sustaining optimal health. Subscribe to @timikaschambers.com by clicking the link below.

Processing…
Success! You're on the list.

A Sunday Refresh

Hi there!
I hope you are refueling yourself with some relaxation! When you reflect on the past, do you see your strengths or weaknesses? Do you see pain or even little moments of happiness?
Somewhere in you is the joy, peace, and love that transcends your experiences.


Are you looking for yourself today? Are you reuniting with your inner child who has dreams and hopes for a better life? Are you letting your past and current circumstances kill your convictions and inspirations or shut down the whisper that says “you are worthy of your dreams?”

You deserve joy, love, and to fulfill your purpose. You decide who and what you want from your experiences.

Take time to remember the child within and a moment to separate yourself from your experiences.

Make this lifetime great! Today, remember who you are.

Timika Chambers

MSN BSN RN, Integrative Nutrition Health Coach, ACE Fitness Instructor, CDCES

P.S. I would love for you to join my community of being bent on using our experiences as stepping stones to our divine purpose, healing from the inside out, and achieving and sustaining optimal health. Subscribe to @timikaschambers.com by clicking the link below.

Processing…
Success! You're on the list.