Part Of Accepting My Truth Was Shining The Lights On My Myths Part 1.
Posted on June 4, 2021 Leave a Comment
Often, what imprisons us are our beliefs and expectations about people. I knew I had to shine the light on my assumptions to set myself free of anger, disappointment, and magnetizing friends.
Here are five major myths I demystify in Chapter One of my soon-to-be-published memoir, Bent Not Broken.
- Older individuals are wise and always make the right decisions. Truth: Wisdom is a choice, and because someone is older does not mean they always do the right thing.
2. People are less likely to believe you when the person abusing you is liked or popular. Truth: The Truth is the truth, regardless of the person telling it and the one involved.
3. All family members care for you and protect you from harm. Truth: Everyone experiences anger, jealousy, and other emotions and does not always deal with their emotions and feelings in healthy ways. Sometimes pain blinds people from others’ pain.
4. Telling on family members is breaking a family code. Talking back to an adult or talking while an adult talked got you the wrong look or a smack across the face. Truth: We must hold everyone accountable for their actions regardless of family ties, social status, and any other distractions to accountability.
5. People will not like me if I do not comply with their desires. Truth: I am not here to be liked by others. The Truth does not care about clicks.
I didn’t realize my assumptions all at once. As you know, healing is a process, and each day provided me priceless treasures in understanding the weakened areas in my foundation.
What myths about people are you still holding onto? How important is it that you reexamine your beliefs about people and life?
Make this lifetime great!
Timika
MSN BSN RN, Integrative Nutrition Health Coach, ACE Fitness Instructor, CDCES
P.S. I would love for you to join my community of being bent on using our experiences as stepping stones to our divine purpose, healing from the inside out, and achieving and sustaining optimal health. Join below. Also check out this week’s podcast below.
Healing from the Inside Out Series #42: Why a Pure Heart is Necessary for True Self-Expression – Create A Generational Love Cycle With Timika S Chambers
- Healing from the Inside Out Series #42: Why a Pure Heart is Necessary for True Self-Expression
- The Power of Self-Understanding and Overcoming Stereotypes: A Reflection on Inner Peace
- Healing from the Inside Out Series #41: Nip Things in the Bud
- The Seeds We Plant Series #74: Are You Planting Pain or Purpose?
- Healing from the Inside Out Series #40: You Can't Change Grown Folks, But You Can Still Heal from the Inside Out
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I Didn’t Know
Posted on June 2, 2021 Leave a Comment
As a child, I didn’t know:
- what bullying, manipulation, incestual sexual abuse, and sexual assault meant.
- I needed to heal from childhood sexual abuse.
- Individuals who experienced childhood sexual abuse were at an increased risk of dropping out of high school and experience anxiety, depression, insomnia, teenage pregnancy, and substance abuse.
- Being in an abusive environment increased my risk of being abused.
Therefore, I relied on what I believed, heard, and saw.
I believed:
- I was here for a purpose.
- True Love is possible.
- Life had more to show me.
- I am a student of life.
I heard:
- The Voice of reason within me. I had a connection to something greater than me, and I needed to listen.
- My mother’s life principles including giving from the heart, living another day, cleaning your heart, taking care of what you have so God could bless you with more, listening, and how you do not need to create the past.
- Positive reinforcement from my mother, brothers, other family members, friends, and teachers
I saw:
- The two family members and many others get on with their lives, so I chose to get on with mine.
- Beautiful, poised, strong trees endure extreme temperatures, and each year, they looked better than the last one.
- Character traits I wanted and did not want in movies and television shows.
In my case, what I didn’t know, helped me. I dug deep within and called out for nature’s help. I do not minimize any experience anyone goes through. I know how important it is to understand how something affected us, but, I know our beliefs and what we hear and see impact our healing path from traumatic experiences.
Research and statistics have their place, but you do not have to put limits on how you should feel, respond, and think about your life experiences.
Make this lifetime great!
You deserve it!
Timika
MSN BSN RN, Integrative Nutrition Health Coach, ACE Fitness Instructor, CDCES
P.S. I would love for you to join my community of being bent on using our experiences as stepping stones to our divine purpose, healing from the inside out, and achieving and sustaining optimal health. Join below.
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Blaming My Father Was Not The Answer
Posted on June 1, 2021 Leave a Comment
As you know, anger, fear, guilt, shame, resentment, vengeance, and their magnetizing companions can feel unbearable at times. But, I knew that after the sexual abuse secret was out, I had to do something. I didn’t want to end up doing to others what the two family members did to me. Although my family and I continued to live close to J and S (the two family members who sexually abused me), I had to part ways from my entire experience with childhood sexual abuse emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually.
It’s so easy to blame others for their actions and inactions, but I realized blaming adds more weight to the load that I am already carrying.
Sometime after the secret was out, I was walking in the middle of our street one day. A thought came to me. If my father were around, maybe the abuse would not have happened. Within a matter of seconds, I came to my sense, for there were no guarantees that my father’s presence would have saved me. He was consumed with his internal battles.
Now, I was still angry at my father, for my mother struggled to provide a roof over our head, feed us, and other necessities of life.Ă‚Â
But, eventually, the anger towards my father turned into compassion because I knew his absence was not about me, my mother, or my brothers. For years, anger covered up the love I felt for him. I wanted my father in my life, but I later accepted that he would not be the father I wanted him to be. I had to heal that wound, and it took time, but it was worth it.
The blessing out of my relationship with my father is that I knew the type of parent I didn’t want to be, and I hoped to find a man who was unlike him. Later, I learned that we all are moving through some pain. Plus, my father missed out on guiding, loving, and protecting three beautiful spirits. My father was and is not a bad person. My father, just like J and S, was in pain and didn’t know how to deal with their pain.
Pain does not have to continue to callous hearts, dismantle the family concept, or infect generations. I could waste my precious energy, money, and time blaming my father or accepting him as he is. Nowadays, I pray for my father instead of blaming him. I hope he heals from the inside out, finding the peace that surpasses understanding.
By accepting, acknowledging, and confronting my pain, I moved on with my life to be present for two beautiful spirits. I unloaded a lot of baggage so that I could have a clear view of my desired life. I want our children and others to know that healing is possible and that pain is not be carried but released. Life is to be lived.
Thanks for reading!
Make this lifetime great!
Timika
P.S. I would love for you to join my community of being bent on using our experiences as stepping stones to our divine purpose, healing from the inside out, and achieving and sustaining optimal health. Join below.
