Relish: Unfulfilled dreams
Posted on November 6, 2016 5 Comments
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I do not relish the fact that some dreams go unfulfilled, some talents/gifts go unnoticed, and some goals go unachieved because of many factors, including, but not limited to:
1. Desiring Social acceptance and avoidance of ridicule more than being your true self-Always wanting to be in the in-crowd and not wanting to veer far from an individual or individuals who have accepted them. When some individuals live this lie, the group has accepted you for who you are portraying to be and not your true self because they do not know who you truly are.
2. Lack of determination to pursue our goals. Some individuals may not feel motivated to pursue their goals because they may believe it’s hard work to go after what they truly want. We do not know unless we try, and when we fail the first time, keep trying. Grow into who you are by doing your part.
3. Low self-efficacy- Some individuals may not feel that they are not capable of great work and belittle the work that they have done. Believe that you are a masterpiece. There is no one like you. We are a great creation. Just pause for a minute and think about your mind and body and how well each part of your body was made to work together. Let go of your expectations and get to know you. Many things were considered silly before they became useful. Look around your house. You can probably find some gadgets. Do not worry so much about the future and have fun being you.
4. Lack of direction or guidance- Some individuals may fear reaching out to others or not sure who to reach out to. Mentors can be found in books, as well. There are some great stories out there about how others found their niche and their journey. You do not have to go searching the country for a mentor.
Keep writing!
Timika
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Hyperbole: Guilty!
Posted on November 5, 2016 Leave a Comment
It is interesting that hyperbole is the daily word for today. I have been questioning the worth of hyperboles. Are they necessary? If so, then why?
This past Thursday, I was just sharing with a student how sleep deprived I felt that I was. I admitted that the last time I had some good sleep was before my son was born. As I was sharing that I, too, suffered from a lack of sleep, I questioned why am I agreeing with the need to just sleep my life away? Why am I using the phrase “I could sleep for a long time” when it is not true? Even when I worked nights, years ago, as a staff nurse at a local hospital, I could only sleep for 1-2 hours when I got home. Yes, I was tired, but I did not want to go to sleep during the day. That’s what nights were for. As you probably figured out, I did not work nights for long. There is a time for everything, and my body works well with its “master clock.”
If given the chance today, would I want to sleep my life away? The answer was and still is no, of course. I have so many things I still want to do, and I keep adding activities/events to my bucket list. Honestly, I have been trying to be more mindful of my thoughts and what I say. If I do not mean something, then why say it? It is a waste of energy and a waste of words, yet, I am sure I have used the phrase many times before, especially between the years of 2011-now.
Why do we feel the need to add excessive value to how we feel? With my statement of being tired, acknowledging that I was tired is one thing and to exaggerate is another. Let’s take another hyperbole. “I am so hungry, I can eat a horse.” Can I really? So, why exaggerate? Am I asking for the other person’s permission to go to sleep or to eat? What is my intention for using a hyperbole? To illicit compassion? Money? Food? love? Is it necessary to have others to empathize with me to take me seriously, or did I need the student to feel like she is not alone?
Sometimes when we are going through an ordeal, we think that we are the only one going through something. I usually tell my students they are not alone and can usually share a life changing story without getting to personal. I have to remember that even being quiet and just listening may be what the other person needs at that time especially instead of saying something I know is not true. Does the other person need to know how hungry I am or how sleepy I am? Not necessarily. Constantly feeling the need that one should quantify or quality statements for others to relate does not sound like a healthy habit. I need to change my ways.
I have been aware of another phrase for a very long time and this phrase is “say what you mean and mean what you say.” So, as we constantly evolve, we find out that some of the things we do, the words we say may conflict with something else we believe it or want to believe in. I need to be more true to the phrase “say what you mean and mean what you say” and stop saying things that are not true.
The more one says something, the more one tends to believe it. There is a known link between our beliefs and our actions (self-fulfilling prophecy). Again, as in the example above, I do not need to believe I am so tired. If anything, I need to believe that I am energetic and high on life.
I am guilty of using some hyperboles, and I confess. I need to stop using hyperboles, and just say what I mean, and mean what I say.
Timika
9z
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Base on which ye stands
Posted on November 5, 2016 Leave a Comment
Our beliefs about ourselves, the world, and others will show in our action toward ourselves and others. A foundation may look strong until it is shaken up a bit by life circumstances. Is your foundation or the base of you, built on truth, integrity, honor, love, compassion, empathy, honest communication, and other positive virtues, or on superiority/inferiority, anger, frustration, bitterness, and/or hate?
Do you immediately forgive yourself when you do not accomplish your goals for the day? Do you continuously blame yourself or berate others when things do not go your way? Do you congratulate yourself for trying a new skill even if you were not as successful as you wanted to be at the skill? Or do you feel that you are incompetent when something does not turn out the way the picture in the magazine looked? Better yet, do you hold a grudge when someone does not do what they said they were going to do? Or, do you immediately forgive that person and ask what could you have done to help? Or do you just assume that, that person did not want to help anyway? Do we feel that it is important to communicate our feelings to our friends/love ones, or do we feel that they will not understand, and it is not worth sharing our feelings? Do we feel that others, especially our loved ones, are capable of empathizing with us? Are we quick to judge others? If yes, then more than likely we are quick to judge ourselves.
If we are quick to show compassion to ourselves when we do not achieve the goals we set forth for the day, then we are more likely to show compassion to others when they do not achieve their goals. Your internal dialogue will sometimes be the same conversation you have with others (mostly negative or mostly positive). It’s hard to be positive toward others if you are negative towards yourself, and vice versa.
If you motivate yourself when you are working on a project, then you are probably more likely to try to motivate others. If you feel that your emotions/feelings are of value, then you are more likely to share those emotions/feelings with your loved ones. They are your loved ones, right? Do we see people as capable of achieving their goals, or do we feel that we should always do things for them for the task to come out, right? Do we enable others to think for themselves and care for themselves, or do we enable them to depend on us for everything, and then we get mad and feel like “he can’t do anything himself?”
Does everyone have the basic right to live here on earth? Does everyone regardless of race, culture, religion, gender, (and anything else used to separate humanity) deserve the to be treated the same way? If you are hard on yourself and set expectations so high that when you do not achieve your goals, you may end of feeling anxious, depressed, moody, withdrawing from others, you are probably hard on others or will be most of the time. You will tend to have unrealistic expectations for others, and many times you will end up disappointed.
If you are dissatisfied with how you treat others, look at your foundation. How sturdy is your base? Here you will find the root of your behaviors. How you treat others may reflect how you feel about yourself.
Timika
