A lesson learned: Hopefully, lessons learned from Paula Deen.
Posted on June 22, 2013 3 Comments
Picture from news.yahoo.com
I try to see the positive in things. I remember saying to myself as a little girl that I want to learn from my mistakes and preferably from the mistakes of others. I can tell you I was a bit disappointed when I heard that Paula Deen used the ‘N” word in the past, and it had not been the first time. I may be disappointed, but not surprised as I thought about what was said about her being raised in the South. I will further explain below.
I admire Paula Deen and what she has been through. I read her memoir It ain’t all about the Cookin’ and was inspired by her book that even though life has its downs, you can still overcome and be successful. I love her accent and the way, I thought, she remained humble about her success. I think it is a great gift to be able to cook delicious meals with so many combinations.
I know that racism is still prevalent, and many of the books I read about racism and slavery deal a lot with the South. I know that Paula Deen has been reported saying that her family does not participate in racism; however, I do not know if her children was around her when she used racist words, because if she did, they were exposed to this and especially the anger that comes with it. Children do not forget, and just because , we were raised a certain way, does not mean that we should continue it as I mention in Chapter 11 of my book A mother’s words of wisdom: From my heart to yours. Building within. Many companies and organizations are not tolerating racism or any form of discrimination, even though some individuals are still racist and discriminate against others. Parents are such an influence on their children, especially the mothers. I believe that another lesson that was confirmed was that parents should be careful what you do in the past, because the past may hurt you in the future. You never know that very negative thing you are role modeling to your children, is the very thing that may negative impact their dreams, goals, and future successes.
It made me feel good that the Food Network was vocal about not tolerating discrimination. I cannot lie about that. I will miss Paula Deen on the show. Thank you, Paula, for your honesty in admitting the use of racist words. I do wish you well.
I would love to hear your comments.
Sincerely,
Timika Chambers
A mother’s words of wisdom. From my heart to yours.
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Bullying and its rightful place
Posted on June 17, 2013 2 Comments
The one thing that infuriates me the most is hearing that someone has been bullied by someone else. Whether it is name-calling (race, religion, color, intellectual abilities, and sexual preference, and/or forcing someone to do something they do not want to do, I do not care if it is the sister, brother, cousin, mother, father (because I have heard and seen parents bully their children) or any other individual.. I believe some things that fall under bullying include child abuse, elderly abuse, and domestic abuse and/or domestic violence, and rape. No one has the right to make someone else feel inferior or feel that he or she does not belong in this world or that the world would be a better place without him or her. How does that person know that? What gives another the right to have someone question his or her worth—to help feel inferior?
I heard today about a study taking place regarding bullying within the family including sisters and brothers. The one place that children hope to feel a sense of belonging…to be accepted for who they are, loved unconditionally, to be called by their name, and not make them feel inferior, is the very same place that some children are experiencing bullying…Are you kidding me? Loving, caring, and respecting others start in the home…If it does not start there, where does it start. Then, we want to wonder how come children turn into bullies as young adolescents, teenagers, and adults.
I am even more disgusted when I hear that someone was involved with helping someone else feel so bad about who he or she is that this person decided to take his or her life…to no longer be here…that his or her life was not worth living…..when he or she was designed to be here….. To have a place in this world…to explore, experience, to be happy, to live a passionate life, and it came to an end because the other person (bully)had issues that were not dealt with correctly.
I remember, years ago, in my undergraduate program, I witnessed a man hitting a woman and forcing her to do something. I immediately stopped what I was doing, beyond shock, and yelled out to this person to stop. I also told someone as well, but the couple ran away. Keep in mind that I was in the library…but wrong was wrong. I did not know the couple, I just knew it was wrong. It was a chance that I took, and I would do it again…Right is right….
When you are bullying, I believe it says more about you…who you are on the inside, and it does not bring good thoughts to mind. There is probably nothing wrong with the other person, something is more wrong with you. I am not picking on someone who is a bully…and you know if you are…but stop for a moment and ask why are you bullying someone??? Is it fun? Does it make you feel better about yourself? Does it relieve anger, stress, fear, or intimidation? Why would picking on someone else be a reason to laugh? To get excited? We were all given names for a reason….special reasons..after a grandmother, after a soap opera actress…It does not matter. Call me by my name and none other unless you have my permission. Get to know me before you tell me I do not belong….Besides the words “I do not belong do not belong in the statement of describing someone. We all have something valuable to add to this world, and who I am should be respected, as I will respect you.
As I mention, in Chapter 10, of my book, whether you had witnessed bullying, name-calling or any other negative behavior, in or outside your home, it is wrong. Period. You do not have to continue it on in your family or in your life. You have the power to change things.
Bullying and name calling has no place. It does not belong here on this earth. My mother did not put up with us calling each other names or fighting. If you got caught you would hear it, and/ or feel it. She did not even like the word “punk”. Forgive me mother. It is just an example. Loving and respecting others belong here. We have to learn to accept others for who they are and limit the fighting, bullying, and name-calling. There is so much beautiful variety on this earth, and everyone deserves a chance to be who they are…If you live in love, you will be more conscious of what you do and say around others.
Sincerely,
Timika Chambers
Author “A mother’s words of wisdom. From my heart to yours. Building within”
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Happy child
Posted on June 8, 2013 Leave a Comment
It brightens my day and lightens my heart when I see my son laugh and smile. He enjoys being around other children and playing by himself, which is great for him. He is learning so much, and he is doing so well with word pronunciation. It is almost scary.
I am not only taking pictures with my phone camera. I am also taking mental pictures as well. I want to cherish this time with my son and witness God in action.
Hope you and yours are having a beautiful Saturday.
Timika Chambers
“A mother’s words of wisdom. From my heart to yours. Building within”
Timika S Chambers 