How we respond to our pain becomes the lenses to how we interpret our emotions, experiences, feelings, and thoughts. Like physical symptoms, our mental symptoms provide the necessary input to help us heal.
Since I was a young girl, I loved walking. Sometimes, I would walk in the house, in our front yard, or to the park. There is something about putting one foot in front of the other and receiving clarity of thought.
Sometime after my experience with incestual sexual abuse ended, as I was walking in the living room, a thought came to me. “Life is about building character.” Then, I thought life experiences test my character. I needed to work on myself instead of spending time rehashing what happened. On that day, the student approach to life was birthed.
When the thoughts of feeling like trash and being scared of men came to me, I realized who I didn’t want to be. I didn’t want to spend a lifetime of suffering. I wanted to enjoy my life, for I felt it was my right to do so.
When I felt angry, disappointed, guilty, shameful, resentful, and vengeful, I allowed myself to feel my emotions and feelings. Somehow I knew that denying my experience with sexual abuse and how I felt were not helpful to me. As a student of life, I needed to accept my entire childhood sexual abuse experience.
Thankfully, I didn’t know what sexual abuse, incestual abuse, and manipulation meant as a child. Not labeling my experience helped me to focus on being who I wanted to be.
As time went on, I realized that my emotions, feelings, and thoughts were not to hurt me but to help me heal from the inside out. I didn’t make excuses for the two family members or myself. I accepted and acknowledged my part for keeping the dark secret.
All of us have the potential to heal. Our healing path depends a lot on how we perceive our mental symptoms and the world. If we believe others are out to get us, then we are a victim. If we believe that our mind and body are against us, we will see them as traitors and treat them as such.
But, if we truly believe that our mind and body are speaking to us to heal us, we are moving along the path to accepting ourselves, including our past.
The more we deny what happened to us, the more we prolong what is rightfully ours.
There is an individualized healing path leading us out of the dark wilderness of childhood sexual abuse to the other side of pain. Acceptance and love are waiting for you.
How long we prolong our divine right to heal and enjoy our gift of life is up to us. If no one has told you, I am telling you that your story matters and so does your healing. I know that healing is possible and a process and you deserve every moment of joy, freedom, and living your best life.
May you find your healing path and reunite with your purpose in life. You deserve it!
MSN BSN RN, Integrative Nutrition Health Coach, ACE Fitness Instructor, CDCES
P.S. I would love for you to join my community of being bent on using our experiences as stepping stones to our divine purpose, healing from the inside out, and achieving and sustaining optimal health. Join below.