Mondays: Inspired by mom

“Appreciation is a wonderful thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.”
Voltaire

I never wanted an illness or death to be the motivation for me to appreciate loved ones or do the things I know I should do. I knew at a very young age that we had a great mother.  Regardless of what she had been through, she chose to be there for her children in every way that she could.  After working long hours at a local store or any job that she had, she would make time to be present for events.  She would be there to support my brother at home basketball games. She would take us to lunch before working an 8 hour plus shift.  We would routinely go shopping (at Ventures or Grandpa’s) and even walk around Cahokia Mounds on Sundays.  I can still taste the sub sandwiches we used to get at Grandpa’s.

Our mother instinctively knew the importance of structure and routine.  Mother rarely made excuses, and she expected the same from her children. She did what she had to do to make sure we had a roof over our head, shoes on our feet, food to eat, clothes to wear, and beds to sleep in.

Mother took it upon herself to leave an unhealthy marriage for something better.  She knew that if she did not leave her current situation that something bad was going to happen. She would either be in jail or no longer around to care for us.  She wanted more, and although she did not know what the future held, she made a change.  She took a step into the unknown.

Take the first step in faith.  You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step- Martin Luther King

She was never shy about telling us her story; she wanted us to learn from her life lessons and pursue the life that we were meant to have.  She wanted us to have a better life.

I have tried to keep her life principles close to heart.  I have often said that it is not so much about the number of parents in the home, but more about the quality of parenting.  You can grow up in a home with the father or mother being physically there, but emotionally and socially absent.

She was never religious, and encouraged us to care more about the heart of a man than the religion or church someone belonged to. Although she kept a bible close, we never felt like she preached to us.  She was honest and told the truth, which was natural to her.  It was not about what was pleasing to our ears: her talks were meant to feed our Soul. 

Mother believes that we should do what we can to help others have a better life.  We must not continue the same cycle of negative behavior.  What good is that?

“I may have not had it, but I want my grandkids to have it”-Thelma Jones

My Monday blog posts will be dedicated to my mother.  I will share her life lessons and hope that I will continue to educate, empower, inspire, and positively transform my life and the life of others.

As always, please feel free to share your thoughts, including your life lessons.

Timika

Martyr: It’s your call

Martyr

If we find ourselves seeking attention through pain and suffering, then let’s dig deep inside to the root of our behavior.  Being a maryr, in a sense of exaggerating your suffering, may not bring you the positive reactions you seek.

I believe that unless someone proves you wrong, believe what he or she says.  This principle was also reinforced in nursing school. Therefore, if someone says that he or she hurts or is in pain, then I  believe him or her.  I do try to know as much as I can about the condition and understand the physiological and psychological aspects of that condition, so I can fully understand what is going on and help guide the individual to accurate and timely care.

There may times that we may use our illness or condition to elicit compassion, attention, gifts/desired action of others, and other reactions.  Even children will do things to elicit attention at times, especially when they are not receiving the attention they want, whether it is to have a parent put a band aid on a small cut or bruise or to get a hug or kiss from a parent.  Up until a certain age, individuals are limited in their expressions.  As adults, though, as long as we are mentally and physically capable, we should express our emotions and feelings to others.

We should not feel like we need to harm ourselves just to receive attention from others or feel like we need to make something more than it is.  If we know how to take care of ourselves, then we should do so.  There are healthy ways of communicating with others.

If there is something that is bothering you, then please take the time to discuss your concerns with loved ones.  If you feel that you need professional help, then seek it. Continue to take care of yourself.  You should never have to endanger your life to receive attention from others.  If someone is not giving you the attention you feel you deserve, communicate to him or her in a healthy and timely fashion.

 

Timika

 

 

Irksome

Irksome

Image result for intuition

dataremixed.com

What’s irksome for me is when I do not listen to my gut/intuition.  I am learning more and more each day that even when I do not understand the reasons beyond a thought or a gut reaction; it is okay. I do not have to see the future before I decide to take action; it is important to have faith and trust that things will work out.  Usually, the answer as to why I should do something, will come within a few minutes, hours, days, or even in some cases, years later.  It feels good when I do follow my gut to leave and go to the store now, to call a friend or my mom now, to send a text now, or visit someone now, because usually when I do, I tend to have a more desirable outcome, than if I did not follow my gut/intuition.  I have had many instances, over the years, when I felt like I should have said or done something and did not.

It is not so much about regretting not saying or doing something I felt I should have.  It is about trusting myself.  It is about trusting yourself. We need to trust the guide inside and be able to let go of needing to control everything in our life and let go….

Image result for intuitionWhen you feel the need to encourage a loved one to check his or her blood pressure, blood sugar, to go and check on your children, to take your son or daughter to the doctor, to sign up for a class, to start your own business, to go on vacation, to take care of yourself, to patiently wait for the train to pass (I’ve seen the results of individuals wanting to beat trains), to ask the pharmacist why this month’s pills are different from last month, to remind the doctor that it is your left leg that is bothering you instead of your right, to ask your doctor for a generic form of the drug he or she is prescribing you, to leave the house later than usual, to end a relationship with someone, to go back and check to see if you locked the door, to go back and check to see if you turned off the stove, to say no to someone, to wear certain clothes instead of the one you picked out, waiting until morning to take the trash out………and more.

Follow your gut/intuition.  Most likely, you will be glad you did.

Timika