Often mother would say, “as long as people have a tongue, they will talk. Pay attention to their actions.” My mother was not telling us not to trust people but to leave some space between expectations and realizations. The Webster dictionary defines expect as 1. to consider probable or certain. 2. to consider reasonable due or necessary 3. to consider bound in duty or obligated. 4. to anticipate or look forward to the coming or occurrence. Other definitions include await, look forward, suppose, stay, or think, or wait (https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/expect). When I read the above definitions, I thought no wonder expectations could negatively affect us. We bound and wait for someone to do their duty. No wonder many of us put up with certain behaviors. We wait and hope the other person change without doing anything on our part.
Often, we put up with how others treat us and hope for the best. We hope someday soon they see the Light. But, the days, months, and years continue to be the same. We make excuses for people. They are stressed, unhappy, in pain, or others, and we end up stressed, unhappy, in pain, resentful, and others. We may even blame ourselves for what someone else does. How does that last sentence sound to you? We blame ourselves for what we cannot control in the first place.
Between the ages of 5–10, I waited for the two family members who misused my body, and I waited for them to do the right thing. What I learned was I had to speak up for myself to change my situation. I couldn’t wait on the two family members to decide my fate any longer. And, I continued to use my voice and legs to change and free myself from situations that did not benefit me.
I didn’t want to keep jumping the hurdles. Instead, I exited the experience and kept walking.
As you know actions speak louder than words, and when people keep showing you they are not on the same level, it’s time to change. And I believe we don’t have to hurt others to make our requests known.
- Please pay attention to the actions of a person and their words. Do their actions and words match?
- Use your voice to tell someone how you feel and let others know about it. Keep speaking until someone believes you and helps you do something about the situation, especially if you are in an abusive situation.
- Remind people of your shared goal. Sometimes we get off track (personal, family, and other situations), and a friendly reminder is all we need.
- Make sure your actions and words match (living with integrity). I believe we do attract who we are. When we think less of ourselves, someone or something may try to prove our low sense of self-worth.
You deserve joy and peace. You are more than your experiences.
Make this lifetime great!
MSN BSN RN, Integrative Nutrition Health Coach, ACE Fitness Instructor, CDCES
P.S. I would love for you to join my community of being bent on using our experiences as stepping stones to our divine purpose, healing from the inside out, and achieving and sustaining optimal health. Subscribe to @timikaschambers.com by clicking the link below.