How You Can Regain Your Sense of Self-Worth After An Unwanted Experience

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All of us experience some form of disappointment in our lives. But how do we recover from broken expectations and prevent further damage to our self-worth? 

Here are four steps to help you remember your worth.

  1. You acknowledge the experience for what it is. You don’t need to pretty up the story or tell a different story to achieve inner peace. Many of the emotions (anger, etc.)and feelings (incompetent, etc.) we experience come from denying reality.
  2. Part ways psychologically and physically, if you can. You decide the life you want to live and set the standard for future experiences (relationships, employment, and other areas of your life).
  3. Learn from your experiences. Early on, I chose the student approach to life instead of always seeing myself as the victim. Self-empowerment comes from learning how to navigate life based on what you learn from previous experiences. 
  4. Create moments of stillness to reflect on lessons learned. Throughout my day, I take time to reflect on my experiences. Stillness is not about where you are but achieving inner peace despite where you are. Don’t get me wrong. I’m grateful for quiet moments, but sometimes I can’t wait until the kids go to bed or go outside on the deck to achieve calmness.
  5. Focus on what you learned instead of the person (teacher) who reminded you of something you already knew. What is the message out of your experience that you needed to know?

We can turn broken expectations into opportunities by not taking our experiences personally, separating our worth from experience, setting our life navigation on learning, and creating time to reflect on what we learned and not our teacher.

Thank you for reading my post!

Make this lifetime great!

Timika

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Part Of Accepting My Truth Was Shining The Lights On My Myths Part II

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Yesterday, I informed you of some of the myths I held about family and people as a child. A series of events continued to unfold the day I called out for nature’s help. Sometime after my experience with childhood sexual abuse, I dropped to my knees and prayed to know the Truth. I wanted to know the facts and not obscure my journey with judgments. I desired to know about human behavior because I wanted to understand what I now know us the cycle of pain. The memories of my childhood sexual abuse experience continued to fit like pieces to the puzzle.

Here are the remaining four myths I include in Chapter One in my memoir, Bent Not Broken.

1. People will be nice to me if I do what they say and remain quiet. Truth: My body, mind, and spirit are never up for a bargain.

2. I have to do what others are doing. Truth: Just because others are doing it does not make the action right.

3. Speaking up for myself has a time limit. Truth: The truth has no time limits. My feelings matter.

4. I am responsible for helping others feel good about themselves. Truth: I do not have to abuse, belittle, or neglect myself for the sake of others. People are responsible for themselves, just as I am responsible for my Self.

I believe knowledge is power, but how we use the information is essential to forgiving ourselves and others. I am not saying not to hold people accountable for their behaviors. I am saying what we all know. We cannot change people. The myths we hold about others are often self-imposed and potentially destructive to our well-being.

Timika

MSN BSN RN, Integrative Nutrition Health Coach, ACE Fitness Instructor, CDCES

P.S. I would love for you to join my community of being bent on using our experiences as stepping stones to our divine purpose, healing from the inside out, and achieving and sustaining optimal health. Join below.

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I Didn’t Know

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As a child, I didn’t know:

  1. what bullying, manipulation, incestual sexual abuse, and sexual assault meant. 
  2. I needed to heal from childhood sexual abuse. 
  3. Individuals who experienced childhood sexual abuse were at an increased risk of dropping out of high school and experience anxiety, depression, insomnia, teenage pregnancy, and substance abuse.
  4. Being in an abusive environment increased my risk of being abused.

Therefore, I relied on what I believed, heard, and saw. 

I believed:

  1. I was here for a purpose.
  2. True Love is possible.
  3. Life had more to show me.
  4. I am a student of life.

I heard:

  1. The Voice of reason within me. I had a connection to something greater than me, and I needed to listen. 
  2. My mother’s life principles including giving from the heart, living another day, cleaning your heart, taking care of what you have so God could bless you with more, listening, and how you do not need to create the past.
  3. Positive reinforcement from my mother, brothers, other family members, friends, and teachers

I saw:

  1. The two family members and many others get on with their lives, so I chose to get on with mine.
  2. Beautiful, poised, strong trees endure extreme temperatures, and each year, they looked better than the last one. 
  3. Character traits I wanted and did not want in movies and television shows. 

In my case, what I didn’t know, helped me. I dug deep within and called out for nature’s help. I do not minimize any experience anyone goes through. I know how important it is to understand how something affected us, but, I know our beliefs and what we hear and see impact our healing path from traumatic experiences.

Research and statistics have their place, but you do not have to put limits on how you should feel, respond, and think about your life experiences. 

Make this lifetime great!

You deserve it!

Timika

MSN BSN RN, Integrative Nutrition Health Coach, ACE Fitness Instructor, CDCES

P.S. I would love for you to join my community of being bent on using our experiences as stepping stones to our divine purpose, healing from the inside out, and achieving and sustaining optimal health. Join below.

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