Bullying and its rightful place

The one thing that infuriates me the most is hearing that someone has been bullied by someone else. Whether it is name-calling (race, religion, color, intellectual abilities, and sexual preference, and/or forcing someone to do something they do not want to do, I do not care if it is the sister, brother, cousin, mother, father (because I have heard and seen parents bully their children) or any other individual.. I believe some things that fall under bullying include child abuse, elderly abuse, and domestic abuse and/or domestic violence, and rape. No one has the right to make someone else feel inferior or feel that he or she does not belong in this world or that the world would be a better place without him or her. How does that person know that? What gives another the right to have someone question his or her worth—to help feel inferior?

I heard today about a study taking place regarding bullying within the family including sisters and brothers. The one place that children hope to feel a sense of belonging…to be accepted for who they are, loved unconditionally, to be called by their name, and not make them feel inferior, is the very same place that some children are experiencing bullying…Are you kidding me? Loving, caring, and respecting others start in the home…If it does not start there, where does it start. Then, we want to wonder how come children turn into bullies as young adolescents, teenagers, and adults.

I am even more disgusted when I hear that someone was involved with helping someone else feel so bad about who he or she is that this person decided to take his or her life…to no longer be here…that his or her life was not worth living…..when he or she was designed to be here….. To have a place in this world…to explore, experience, to be happy, to live a passionate life, and it came to an end because the other person (bully)had issues that were not dealt with correctly.

I remember, years ago, in my undergraduate program, I witnessed a man hitting a woman and forcing her to do something. I immediately stopped what I was doing, beyond shock, and yelled out to this person to stop. I also told someone as well, but the couple ran away. Keep in mind that I was in the library…but wrong was wrong. I did not know the couple, I just knew it was wrong. It was a chance that I took, and I would do it again…Right is right….

When you are bullying, I believe it says more about you…who you are on the inside, and it does not bring good thoughts to mind. There is probably nothing wrong with the other person, something is more wrong with you. I am not picking on someone who is a bully…and you know if you are…but stop for a moment and ask why are you bullying someone??? Is it fun? Does it make you feel better about yourself? Does it relieve anger, stress, fear, or intimidation? Why would picking on someone else be a reason to laugh? To get excited? We were all given names for a reason….special reasons..after a grandmother, after a soap opera actress…It does not matter. Call me by my name and none other unless you have my permission. Get to know me before you tell me I do not belong….Besides the words “I do not belong do not belong in the statement of describing someone. We all have something valuable to add to this world, and who I am should be respected, as I will respect you.

As I mention, in Chapter 10, of my book, whether you had witnessed bullying, name-calling or any other negative behavior, in or outside your home, it is wrong. Period. You do not have to continue it on in your family or in your life. You have the power to change things.

Bullying and name calling has no place. It does not belong here on this earth. My mother did not put up with us calling each other names or fighting. If you got caught you would hear it, and/ or feel it. She did not even like the word “punk”. Forgive me mother. It is just an example. Loving and respecting others belong here. We have to learn to accept others for who they are and limit the fighting, bullying, and name-calling. There is so much beautiful variety on this earth, and everyone deserves a chance to be who they are…If you live in love, you will be more conscious of what you do and say around others.

Sincerely,

Timika Chambers

Author “A mother’s words of wisdom. From my heart to yours. Building within”

To judge or not to judge: What will you teach or what are you teaching your child?

I am reminded of the image of my son reaching his hand out to another child on the playground when my family visited South Carolina this past May. It warmed my heart and saddened me a bit, as I was happy to see that he was not bothered by skin color or nationality. He reached out to another child, around his age, to walk with him and play. It saddened me to know that sooner or later he will find out that there are many individuals in this world who will still probably judge him according to his skin color…his race and other reasons. My son is so happy right now and takes delight in seeing other children playing,and many times he runs over to play with them.

About a week ago or so, my son had a Caucasian girl reached her hand out to him and helped him climb up to the slide. She was so patient with him and laughed and smiled with Cameron. She even walked with us to our home, holding his hand. I thought how sweet.

It is important to his father and me that our son lives a life that respects himself and others. I hope that he looks beyond these distractions (age, sex, intellectual ability, social status, physical ability, race, religion, ethnic groups, and others) placed in our way to help us experience true love…loving thy neighbor, right?. How we treat others come from our beliefs about others. Do we truly believe that everyone should be treated equally regardless of how different he or she may be from us (meaning whatever group you put yourself in)?

I was recently told about a story that involved a child calling another child a monkey at the playground. When the mother of this child tried to confront the other mother, the mother dismissed her….Her child was” calling it like he saw it”. Did the child originally have that thought to call someone a racial slur or was this picked up? You guessed it. The child heard it from someone, and that is how racism continues with each generation…It is unfortunate that others are judged by their skin color or race…just because of color? It never made sense to me then, and it does not now…

When my mother, a single parent, who could have chosen to lash out at others and behave in hate, encouraged us and role modeled the importance of accepting others, it was not with exceptions. Accept others that are of your own race….No…..We are definitely able to change the world, parents….loving our children and teaching them to love and respect others regardless of what may “in the eye of the beholder” that set others apart.”

There is so much to teach my our child through words and role modeling, with above being dear to my heart. One person can cause a change to occur…I believe it and have faith.

Sincerely,

Timika Chambers

A mother’s words of wisdom. From my heart to yours. Building within