What Did I Learn From My Pain?

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I knew before age 5 that abusing someone was wrong. I reported to another family member that my father was abusing my mom. I questioned if I was wrong because of the backlash I received from my father. Unfortunately, sprinkles of doubt seeds were instilled into the soil of my inner garden, and I experienced the cycle of pain for the first time.

When I experienced abuse at age 5-10, I struggled with telling the truth, but I learned something about myself before, during, and after my personal experience with abuse.

I realized:

I didn’t want to force anyone to do anything they do not want to do. I carried this principle at the forefront of my mind and heart.

I do not have to be in pain. I wanted to do so much with my life. I wanted to see Saint Louis, Missouri. I craved seeing the rest of God’s world. I wanted to drive and experience real love. I needed to have a normal life. I desired happiness and to do the things I enjoyed. I loved food and the freedom to be who and what I wanted to be. I loved spending time in nature and thinking about life, and sleeping. I loved taking pictures with my camera and with my mind. I loved art and the ability to record life on a piece of paper.

I didn’t like pain. I sought inner guidance to avoid, minimize, and release lingering anger, disappointment, guilt, shame, resentment, and vengeance, for these emotions and feelings were distractions to enjoying life. All of my efforts took time. Still, I didn’t want to miss out on what life had for me. Every moment of feeling in despair reminded me that I didn’t want to feel that way, and I was determined to find my way back to my Truth.

I desired the Truth and to be in alignment with nature. I thought that if there is an all-knowing, ever-present, and loving power in the world, I wanted to have a relationship with it. I listened to and incorporated my mother’s teachings into my life. I read the Bible and learned the Lord’s prayer. I absorbed Jesus’ characteristics and changed to a student approach to life. I observed people and looked for God’s messages in movies, television, and life. I was a learner and not a victim of life, so when things didn’t work out as I wanted, I spent less time beating myself up about my decisions. I learned and moved on, which is what my mother often encouraged us.

Now, at age 46, I understand more about the power of the mind. The brain is small, but a powerful organ, and is our connection to the universal mind. We can choose healing instead of pain.

Refuse to continue pain, and be bent on creating a cycle of Love. And see what doors open up to you. Even if you don’t know what you want, make a list of what you don’t want. Then the want-door opens.

I’m a little bent because of my pain, but I am facing in the right direction.

Make this lifetime great! I believe you can. And, you still have time.

Timika

MSN BSN RN, Integrative Nutrition Health Coach, ACE Fitness Instructor, CDCES

P.S. I would love for you to join my community of being bent on using our experiences as stepping stones to our divine purpose, healing from the inside out, and achieving and sustaining optimal health. Join below.

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Self-Care Is Self-Love: People-Pleasing Is Neither

Sometimes, like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, we have exactly what we need and don’t see it or choose to overlook it. People pleasing doesn’t prove anything other than questions our sanity.

When we do so much for others, and less for ourselves, we have lost some self-respect, and therefore, are not practicing self-care. When people ask you to do something that sets off your ethical and moral barometer, we must listen to the alarm and act accordingly.

Early on, I learned that no amount of doing leads to honesty and respect. When the secret was out about my sexual abuse experience, one of the male family members lied about his involvement. Then, I knew that love is not built on pleasing others. Therefore, I wanted someone to love me for me, and not what I can do for him. Relationships continue to reinforce that I I must love myself first. People will often treat you how you treat yourself.

Learn more about my memoir, Bent Not Broken, which shares how I used my sexual abuse experience to formulate life principles and additional healthy living tips by signing up below for my quarterly newsletter. Be bent on the idea that adversity will make you stronger.

Everyday is a day to remake yourself into the person you want to be and not a compilation of unleashed pain especially others’ pain.

Make this lifetime great!

Timika

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It can come in slowly……

Sometimes doubt and negative talk can creep in. We do not see its divine purpose in our life until we have accomplished our goal, and we are looking back at our accomplishment. You are worth every bit of freedom, independence, and peace of mind. Stay focused on your vision. #doubt #freedom #peaceofmind #tgif #mindset #youcandoit #health #fitness #journey #story #soultalk #meaning #realtalk #weightlossjourney #transformation #spirit #divine #calling #purpose #confidence #confirmation #career #coach #mentor #nurse #saintlouis #columbus #global 
We all have issues…..How we are dealing with our issues counts!
Timika