How To Walk Instead of Jumping The Expectation Hurdles

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Often mother would say, “as long as people have a tongue, they will talk. Pay attention to their actions.” My mother was not telling us not to trust people but to leave some space between expectations and realizations. The Webster dictionary defines expect as 1. to consider probable or certain. 2. to consider reasonable due or necessary 3. to consider bound in duty or obligated. 4. to anticipate or look forward to the coming or occurrence. Other definitions include await, look forward, suppose, stay, or think, or wait (https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/expect). When I read the above definitions, I thought no wonder expectations could negatively affect us. We bound and wait for someone to do their duty. No wonder many of us put up with certain behaviors. We wait and hope the other person change without doing anything on our part.

Often, we put up with how others treat us and hope for the best. We hope someday soon they see the Light. But, the days, months, and years continue to be the same. We make excuses for people. They are stressed, unhappy, in pain, or others, and we end up stressed, unhappy, in pain, resentful, and others. We may even blame ourselves for what someone else does. How does that last sentence sound to you? We blame ourselves for what we cannot control in the first place.

Between the ages of 5–10, I waited for the two family members who misused my body, and I waited for them to do the right thing. What I learned was I had to speak up for myself to change my situation. I couldn’t wait on the two family members to decide my fate any longer. And, I continued to use my voice and legs to change and free myself from situations that did not benefit me. 

I didn’t want to keep jumping the hurdles. Instead, I exited the experience and kept walking.

As you know actions speak louder than words, and when people keep showing you they are not on the same level, it’s time to change. And I believe we don’t have to hurt others to make our requests known.

  1. Please pay attention to the actions of a person and their words. Do their actions and words match?
  2. Use your voice to tell someone how you feel and let others know about it. Keep speaking until someone believes you and helps you do something about the situation, especially if you are in an abusive situation.
  3. Remind people of your shared goal. Sometimes we get off track (personal, family, and other situations), and a friendly reminder is all we need.
  4. Make sure your actions and words match (living with integrity). I believe we do attract who we are. When we think less of ourselves, someone or something may try to prove our low sense of self-worth.

You deserve joy and peace. You are more than your experiences.

Make this lifetime great!

Timika

MSN BSN RN, Integrative Nutrition Health Coach, ACE Fitness Instructor, CDCES

P.S. I would love for you to join my community of being bent on using our experiences as stepping stones to our divine purpose, healing from the inside out, and achieving and sustaining optimal health. Subscribe to @timikaschambers.com by clicking the link below.

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How To Let Go Of Expectations

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Hi there! I hope you are having a relaxing Sunday. We are heading into a new week, and we are still under our June theme, Truth. As you know, truth is a critical component to healing from the inside out. This week, I am focusing on the word, expectations. Expectations are often assumptions we have about people. 

We have all expectations about how someone should be, speak, live, and even treat us. We hold many people in high regard, including our parents, aunts, uncles, coaches, teachers, and employers. But are we trying to control the uncontrollable? And, are we doing more harm than good when we blindly accept people will do, speak, and think the way we want them to, even if our beliefs and thoughts are based on what they have said or shown us. 

As you know, human beings aren’t robots. Many people are walking around with unhealed wounds and are seeing the world out of the lenses of their pain. 

At 5 years old, I expected the adults in my life to guide, love, and protect me from harm. My father was an alcoholic and abused my mother. Two male family members misused my body. I’ve had several other experiences when I wanted someone to be a certain way, and they weren’t, including myself. But, pain can be a great teacher of letting go of expectations.

As you know, stress is considered to be the cause of many health conditions, including rare and autoimmune disorders. It makes sense to me that when we feel attacked and a drop in our self-worth, we consciously or subconsciously insert an attack program on our bodies. But, often, what people do and say has nothing to do with us and everything to do with their pain.

Now, I’m not minimizing the brilliancy of our bodies. I know the peace of mind is a great healer to the body and chronic stress impairs the body from doing what it naturally does. The body can restore itself, but when we harbor anger, disappointment, and resentment towards others for not being who we want them to be, we add more stress to our bodies.

Here are three things to consider the next time you have expectations about someone. 

  1. No one owes you anything. Even contracts are broken. When we assume people will act a certain way, we set ourselves up for disappointment. We can hope for the best, but someone’s actions or inactions must not affect our inner state of peace.
  2. Just because someone wants to do the right thing doesn’t mean they always will. Desire is important but not the only requirement for action. Therefore, we come to my next point.
  3. As long as people have a tongue, they will talk. My mother taught us to pay more attention to action instead of words. I often say to myself, that’s nice you feel that way, but I wait for their actions to tell me where they are. Many decisions are based on emotions, and when the emotions level off, for some, the commitment does, too.

As you know, we have control over our actions and thoughts. We can only show others how we want to be treated and make adjustments in our life if they do not adhere to our standards. I’d rather do away with expectations and give people the space to realize their growing points.

To be free of expectations is not holding people accountable. If someone does what they say they are going to do, then they do. But, do not tie yourself up with anger, disappointment, resentment, and other emotions that can damage you. Your health is way more important than someone keeping their word. 

You deserve more because you are more than your experiences. 

Timika

MSN BSN RN, Integrative Nutrition Health Coach, ACE Fitness Instructor, CDCES

P.S. I would love for you to join my community of being bent on using our experiences as stepping stones to our divine purpose, healing from the inside out, and achieving and sustaining optimal health. Subscribe to my newsletters by entering your email below.

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A Sunday Refresh

Hi there!
I hope you are refueling yourself with some relaxation! When you reflect on the past, do you see your strengths or weaknesses? Do you see pain or even little moments of happiness?
Somewhere in you is the joy, peace, and love that transcends your experiences.


Are you looking for yourself today? Are you reuniting with your inner child who has dreams and hopes for a better life? Are you letting your past and current circumstances kill your convictions and inspirations or shut down the whisper that says “you are worthy of your dreams?”

You deserve joy, love, and to fulfill your purpose. You decide who and what you want from your experiences.

Take time to remember the child within and a moment to separate yourself from your experiences.

Make this lifetime great! Today, remember who you are.

Timika Chambers

MSN BSN RN, Integrative Nutrition Health Coach, ACE Fitness Instructor, CDCES

P.S. I would love for you to join my community of being bent on using our experiences as stepping stones to our divine purpose, healing from the inside out, and achieving and sustaining optimal health. Subscribe to @timikaschambers.com by clicking the link below.

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