Call Me By My Name

I never liked labels. Early on, our mother taught us to call people by their names, a principle she learned through her personal experience with teasing and through someone she loved. 

During my mother’s childhood, people teased her about her “skinny legs.” She shared her disappointment with her father. Then, he shared his story of being teased about the size of his head. She never forgot what it felt like to be teased or her father’s lingering pain from childhood; therefore, she was passionate about reinforcing her principle to call people by their name.

When some family members described an out-of-town family member, they described her by saying she was “crazy.” When I met the family member, I realized that she was not crazy; she was misunderstood. But, I saw the impact of other’s opinions on her identity. I saw the pain in her eyes; there was more to the wounds she had.

When I graduated from nursing school, some people referred to me as a “nurse.” I didn’t like that label either. I just wanted to be Timika, a person that is more than her experience. Part of what helped me to move forward from childhood sexual abuse, was avoiding labels based on fear.

For the first time I watched approximately 40 minutes of Oprah’s new show The Me You Can’t See, last night. Unfortunately, we live in a world in which people project their fears and insecurities on others. I believe many of our adulthood issues stem from our childhood wounds often projected by others. At some point, we believe that others’ opinions mean more than what we think of ourselves. Fortunately, illusions do not stand up to the Truth. The Truth is in us and waiting for us to recognize that we are not what others think of us.

Our parents had reasons for choosing our names, including in memory of a loved one, someone they admired, or the love of a particular name). Who am I to trash over that name? Now, I admit that I am not an expert at remembering names, but I do try. I go further in seeing beyond a person’s name. I see a person who matters and is here for a divine reason.

We are all on a journey of self expression and identification. Especially in childhood we need time to figure ourselves out without the opposition of others. In the same breath, we must know we can’t stop others from talking. As my mother told us, “as long as people have a tongue they will talk.”

Although I learn from my experiences, I am not my experiences. I am not my detours in life, career, profession, or trade. I am not your opinion or stereotype of who I should be. I am not the color of my skin. I am a divine spirit in a unique human form with a mission to complete just like you.

We must know who we are so we do not fall for who we aren’t. You are more than your experiences. You are here for a purpose.

Make this lifetime great!

Timika

I would love for you to be a part of my community bent on healing from the inside out, achieving and sustaining the best health possible, and reuniting with our divine purpose, which is the Light within us.

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Nothing Happens Overnight

After I graduated from undergraduate and landed an RN position at my place of employment, I moved out of my mother’s and house and found an apartment right off highway 70. During this period of stillness, I started researching child sexual abuse and incest. I learned about child sexual abuse prevalence, risk factors, and short and long term consequences.

I continued to learn more about America’s history, including the treatment of all women. Here is an excerpt from Bent Not Broken, my memoir on what I learned from my sexual abuse experience and how I found my healing path:

“The act of anyone forcing his or her will on another human being, violating the ethical, moral, and sanctity of human life, is nothing new to the world. For centuries, many children, both young and old, were subjugated to abuse and rape and lived with censored voices. Unfortunately, the cycle of unleashed pain and torment continues to callous human hearts,  dismantling the family concept and infecting generations.  The darkness within the world appears to be winning souls, manifesting adversity as damnation instead of a means of uncovering the Light within us.” 

In other words, I learned that I was not the only one, and many children, young and old, after their abuse, kept on moving forward. I am not standing on the shoulders of those before me, but they are guiding me from above, behind, in front, and from both sides. The strength I have to overcome come from generations before me.

Know that you are not alone. If someone else found their healing path, you, too can find yours and move forward with your abilities, gifts, and talents and be the light within a sometimes darkened world.

To be a part of the community that is bent on using child sexual abuse and other adversities as stepping stones to your purpose, sign up for my quarterly newsletters. I share what I am working on, tips to initiate and sustain healthy behaviors, and updates.

To Your Best Health and Life!

Timika S Chambers

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The Color of My Skin

 

Throughout my years, I tried to make sense of nonsense,
The color of my skin took prevalence over my born innocence,
What a burden to carry even as a child,
That the color of my skin would get people so riled,
It is still a wonder to me,
Some hearts filled with animosity.
Purposed effort designed my outer shell,
Brilliantly created so that I may show and tell,
That the color of my skin should not be a disgrace,
Nor the shape of my eyes, my nose, or my lips on my face.
The color of my skin is part of His plan and His Masterpiece,
Grace, beauty, and His effervescent love surround you and me.
I am here to reveal the truth that binds the universe,
I am here, like you, to serve a divine purpose.
I am a Masterpiece in HIS own right,
Created by focused hands not blinded by sight.
A small piece of America’s rich history.
Inside and out, I reflect divine beauty,
Just glance at the things that surround us,
Trees, buildings, cars, and animals who do not fuss,
Stillness in their form without worry of their outer appearance,
Why do you still question my existence?
My desire to be me burns so deep inside,
It keeps me going when I want to hide,
Keeping myself whole and to never part,
Revealing aspirations & revelations that lie deep within my heart.
Just like you, I feel happiness, pain, and sorrow,
Blessed to live another tomorrow,
Is it so hard to see the truth that resides within?
For we are greater than the color of our skin.
Timika
Integrative Nutrition and Transformational Health Coach