What Did I Learn From My Pain?

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I knew before age 5 that abusing someone was wrong. I reported to another family member that my father was abusing my mom. I questioned if I was wrong because of the backlash I received from my father. Unfortunately, sprinkles of doubt seeds were instilled into the soil of my inner garden, and I experienced the cycle of pain for the first time.

When I experienced abuse at age 5-10, I struggled with telling the truth, but I learned something about myself before, during, and after my personal experience with abuse.

I realized:

I didn’t want to force anyone to do anything they do not want to do. I carried this principle at the forefront of my mind and heart.

I do not have to be in pain. I wanted to do so much with my life. I wanted to see Saint Louis, Missouri. I craved seeing the rest of God’s world. I wanted to drive and experience real love. I needed to have a normal life. I desired happiness and to do the things I enjoyed. I loved food and the freedom to be who and what I wanted to be. I loved spending time in nature and thinking about life, and sleeping. I loved taking pictures with my camera and with my mind. I loved art and the ability to record life on a piece of paper.

I didn’t like pain. I sought inner guidance to avoid, minimize, and release lingering anger, disappointment, guilt, shame, resentment, and vengeance, for these emotions and feelings were distractions to enjoying life. All of my efforts took time. Still, I didn’t want to miss out on what life had for me. Every moment of feeling in despair reminded me that I didn’t want to feel that way, and I was determined to find my way back to my Truth.

I desired the Truth and to be in alignment with nature. I thought that if there is an all-knowing, ever-present, and loving power in the world, I wanted to have a relationship with it. I listened to and incorporated my mother’s teachings into my life. I read the Bible and learned the Lord’s prayer. I absorbed Jesus’ characteristics and changed to a student approach to life. I observed people and looked for God’s messages in movies, television, and life. I was a learner and not a victim of life, so when things didn’t work out as I wanted, I spent less time beating myself up about my decisions. I learned and moved on, which is what my mother often encouraged us.

Now, at age 46, I understand more about the power of the mind. The brain is small, but a powerful organ, and is our connection to the universal mind. We can choose healing instead of pain.

Refuse to continue pain, and be bent on creating a cycle of Love. And see what doors open up to you. Even if you don’t know what you want, make a list of what you don’t want. Then the want-door opens.

I’m a little bent because of my pain, but I am facing in the right direction.

Make this lifetime great! I believe you can. And, you still have time.

Timika

MSN BSN RN, Integrative Nutrition Health Coach, ACE Fitness Instructor, CDCES

P.S. I would love for you to join my community of being bent on using our experiences as stepping stones to our divine purpose, healing from the inside out, and achieving and sustaining optimal health. Join below.

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Is it a priority? 

#Trust that the nudge you feel to do something you love is for your greater good and the greater good of the #world. Confession: I have not been spending the time I need to make my dreams a reality. My life’s work will not be a priority in life unless I make it a priority. 

Sometimes we may trivialize what we were created for. For many years, we may ask “what am I passionate about?” “What are my gifts and talents?” Yet many times, the answer is right under our noses. We may not be spending enough time with ourselves and always busy doing other things and taking on new projects that keep us far away fro figuring out our true purpose. And even when we know what that is, we may not give it the attention it needs to manifest. 

What do you find yourself thinking about the most in those few seconds you are quiet and still? What brings you joy or is the thing that allows you to escape from your busy world? If it did not matter what others thought about you , or if it was not the ” in thing”, what would you do? If you did not have to worry about feeding your family or putting a roof over your head, what would you do? 

I believe when we follow our hear-our true purpose, we will be taking care of mentally, physically, and financially. 

Being able to provide for ourselves and our family can scare us into doing things that are far from what we enjoy and who we truly are. 

However, as I remind myself today, we only get one life. Do I want to waste this life not knowing who I truly am and my purposes in life?

Do you want to waste your time pleasing others and just making money? Or do you want to be authentic and say “wow, this is my true calling. This is what I should be doing with my life.” Whatever it is that you are doing, can you say that it is your true calling? If not, then what is? 

Do you want to be connected to something greater than yourself -something that energizes you or attached to something that drains you?

Only we can answer these questions for ourselves.  We must take time to get to know who we are and what fills us up and not just our pockets or closets. 

What are your gifts and talents that you consider to be a hobby? Why are these gifts and talents just hobbies? Who said you could not use your gifts and talents in your career or even adventure in entrepreneurship?

Here’s to living our best life,

Timika

Worried or Relieved?

Relieved


What do you believe about yourself? What if your mom, dad, friends, husband, and others were not the ones holding you back? What if it is what you believe about yourself that is holding you back? Do you see limitations or doors that can be opened? What do you say to yourself every day? Are you calling yourself dumb, stupid, or ignorant? Or, are you being kind to yourself and believing that you will figure things out? 
Timika