To judge or not to judge: What will you teach or what are you teaching your child?

I am reminded of the image of my son reaching his hand out to another child on the playground when my family visited South Carolina this past May. It warmed my heart and saddened me a bit, as I was happy to see that he was not bothered by skin color or nationality. He reached out to another child, around his age, to walk with him and play. It saddened me to know that sooner or later he will find out that there are many individuals in this world who will still probably judge him according to his skin color…his race and other reasons. My son is so happy right now and takes delight in seeing other children playing,and many times he runs over to play with them.

About a week ago or so, my son had a Caucasian girl reached her hand out to him and helped him climb up to the slide. She was so patient with him and laughed and smiled with Cameron. She even walked with us to our home, holding his hand. I thought how sweet.

It is important to his father and me that our son lives a life that respects himself and others. I hope that he looks beyond these distractions (age, sex, intellectual ability, social status, physical ability, race, religion, ethnic groups, and others) placed in our way to help us experience true love…loving thy neighbor, right?. How we treat others come from our beliefs about others. Do we truly believe that everyone should be treated equally regardless of how different he or she may be from us (meaning whatever group you put yourself in)?

I was recently told about a story that involved a child calling another child a monkey at the playground. When the mother of this child tried to confront the other mother, the mother dismissed her….Her child was” calling it like he saw it”. Did the child originally have that thought to call someone a racial slur or was this picked up? You guessed it. The child heard it from someone, and that is how racism continues with each generation…It is unfortunate that others are judged by their skin color or race…just because of color? It never made sense to me then, and it does not now…

When my mother, a single parent, who could have chosen to lash out at others and behave in hate, encouraged us and role modeled the importance of accepting others, it was not with exceptions. Accept others that are of your own race….No…..We are definitely able to change the world, parents….loving our children and teaching them to love and respect others regardless of what may “in the eye of the beholder” that set others apart.”

There is so much to teach my our child through words and role modeling, with above being dear to my heart. One person can cause a change to occur…I believe it and have faith.

Sincerely,

Timika Chambers

A mother’s words of wisdom. From my heart to yours. Building within

Can we change someone’s destiny including our own?

Or, are our actions or inaction part of a predetermined fate? Or do we just mind our own business and let things be what they are especially if individuals are resistant to change and say “it is going to happen anyway?” Why try so hard to help others? Others may ask what is the point? Can we change:

1. A person from having a massive stroke by following our intuition to call a person in which the conversation may have gone into detail about the symptoms the person may have been having? Have you ever gotten a feeling to call someone, but decided not to and made excuses why you should not?
2. A person from being diagnosed with diabetes by encouraging and informing he or she of healthy eating habits by being honest with him or her of known risk factors such as family history, inactivity, and obesity? Or do we just lie to the person, because we do not want to hurt their feelings?
3. A person from losing a limb because his or her blood sugars are out of control, and the signs are there…blackened toes, loss of circulation…etc.
4. A person from joining a gang and getting killed one day by another gang
5. A house from burning down due to electricity issues, and you knew that something was not right.
6. A person from selling drugs and eventually being severely hurt, killed, or jailed because you had a dream or even this gut feeling that eventually this was going to happen?
7. A person from having a severe asthma attack and dying in his or her house because we know without the proper equipment, how can he or she properly take care of themselves or that we lack protocols in place to make sure they get the proper teaching?
8. A person from committing suicide as we watch them get bullied by someone else because we are afraid…afraid of retaliation, looking uncool, or others?
9. A person from picking up our bad traits (familial traits) because it just runs in the family and “it is in your blood.” In your gut, you know it is wrong, but so what….Misery likes company, right?

We are all in this journey together. Is it the distractions..pride, jealousy, prejudices, hate, fear, anger, becoming defensive, that can lead us off the wrong path and continue to separate this human race? This intuition or gut feeling is our connection to something bigger…whether you call it God, Universe, Muhammad, or something else. Instead of focusing on something different in all of us, or that I will only focus on my life, focus on our similarities which is the connection to something bigger.

I am just asking……..
Until next time

Timika Chambers
Author “A mother’s words of wisdom. From my heart to yours. Building within.”

Mother’s Day

I am thankful for all the mother’s who are and have been active participants in their child’s life to help guide and direct them in this complicated world we live in.  I am especially thankful for single mothers, just like my mother, Thelma Jones.  She is the one who inspired me to write A mother’s words of wisdom.  From my heart to yours. Building within. My mother taught me the importance of building within—with important values and principles to live by.

  As a mother myself, I still cannot comprehend the hard work, love, patience, and understanding it takes to take on the responsibility of raising three small children under the age of 5 mainly by yourself.  My mother had some support, but she knew that it was up to her to do majority of the work and not pass the buck.  My mother had a choice, and by the grace of God, she chose to handle her responsibility.  She did not know what she had in store, just some money and a few suitcases to embark on a new chapter in her life…

I am honored, Thelma Jones, to say that you are my mother.  You always look for opportunities to teach us about life and to help us be responsible for the life we have.  You always look for opportunities to call and check on me to see how my family is doing..You never pushed your ideas or words of wisdom on me…You always reminded me that I have a choice in life, and that it is my life…that it is our life as your children. 

Thank you Mother for honoring the symbol of motherhood.  You are a conscious parent.  The choices you made were out of love and not deceit or hate.  You tried your best to do the best for us.  I look forward to Mother’s Day, which is in a few days, and everyday that we are blessed to have you in our lives…Your heart is so big, and it shows in your actions to those who’s lives you touch.

 

I love you mom,

 

Timika Chambers

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