How did I avoid an argument with my spouse?
Posted on October 9, 2016 5 Comments
I caught myself yesterday after speaking words that I knew would cause an argument. I was finishing up laundry from our recent vacation, and my spouse found more of his clothes that needed washing. I wanted to have laundry done by a certain time Friday morning, and I began feeling a little frustrated that there were more clothes that needed to be washed. If I had continued on the path I was on with feeling delayed and frustrated, and that I had all of the clothes that needed to be washed in the laudry room, and he did not, an argument with my spouse would have followed. I soon found out, after I decided to change my path, that I, too, had more clothes that needed to be washed.
An argument takes more than one person. I am in control of my thoughts and the words I speak. They can be words of love or words that come from anger, jealousy, frustration, or any other negative emotion/feeling. One of my favorite quotes by Napoleon Hill is “Direct your thoughts, control your emotions, and ordain your destiny.” So, I needed to change my thoughts, control my frustration, and pick a path in alignment with who I want to be.
Another quote that I was reminded on Friday is from the Book of Mathew, and it comes come :
Matthew 7: 4 &5 :How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ while there is still a beam in your own eye? You hypocrite! First take the beam out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.
Besides checking to see what mood or state I am in before I speak, here are the steps I I used to avoid an argument with my spouse yesterday:
1. Removed myself from where were I was. I left out of the laundry room and decided to be still and realized that what I had said was not called for. I could clearly see what he was doing, so I did not need to ask the question.
So, go to another room that allows you to clear your mind and reduce the risk of saying something else to ignite the fire of an argument? Removing myself from the room helped me to think about what I just said and what to say next.
2. Assessed my intention for the words I spoke? Why did I just say what I said? I was trying to complete all of our laundry early Friday morning, so that I could enjoy the rest of the day and do other things. I felt like he was putting me off schedule. I played a part in being off schedule by not communicating properly my intentions. Never did I communicate to my spouse that I was doing laundry and what color clothes I was washing next. I actually like doing laundry and feel blessed that I can do it myself.
3. Thought about what my spouse was going through. I was not the only person trying to finish something that morning. So, I put myself in the other person’s shoes and started talking about what was bothering him.
4.Kept focused on my goals for how I want my life and my marriage to be. Choose by battles, wisely! I want to live a long healthy vibrant youthful life with the one I love.
Mika
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Border
Posted on October 8, 2016 Leave a Comment
<a href="https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/border/">Border</a>
I was on the border, and I am making my way to the center of me-of what truly makes me happy, and how I want to live my life for the next years I am blessed with.
Are you on the border of following your dreams and still holding down a job that is just working for you and your family? Yes…the job pays your bills, but what about that dream or desire you have to be your own boss, a particular postion at the company you work for, and to develop and nurture the gifts and talents you have been blessed with? Do you hope to be a great singer someday? An artist for a cartoon network? Own your own traveling agency?
What gifts or talents have you been blessed with and have not taken the time to develop/nurture them? How can you serve others with your special gifts/talents? If you take the necessary time to develop and nurture your specific gifts/talents, could this be how you are supposed to make a successful living? Could this be the path to making a living on your own terms?
After pumping myself with positive thoughts and words and visualizing my future, today is the first Friday after our drive back from Illinois, which was a much-needed vacation. I had time to clear my mind yesterday as my children rode with my husband for a portion of the 7-hour drive back to Ohio. I thought about what I wanted to do for the rest of my life, and in preparation for my children to start school next year -pending that they go to private school, public school, or homeschool, I need to organize and plan personal time, career time, and family time. I want to not just be available when our children are home from school or during the early afternoon. I want to be present–to help them with their homework, to attend baseball practice, dance recitals, and so much more. I want to enjoy life to the fullest! I believe that we have been given certain gifts and talents by our Creator so that we may enjoy life and serve each other with our gifts and talents. I do believe that how we make a living can be enjoyable and not time-consuming, leaving much time for personal time and time with family and friends.
I have a few writing projects that I have been slowly working on for the past 4-5 years, and today, first Friday of October 2016, I made time for one of the projects and plan to finish by my set deadlines. I figure if I do not push forward with my goals, then when will I? If I continue to slowly work on the projects with no set deadlines or continue to push the deadlines to another date, when do I plan to finish my projects? If I do not consistently try to embrace and develop my gifts and talents, when will I?
So, I take the first Friday of the month of October 2016, and I am pushing forward to an inner calling to educate, empower, and inspire others through written and spoken words. I want to use the wisdom within to direct my steps. I want to pursue this journey of knowing who I am and serving others the best way I can.
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Graceful
Posted on October 1, 2016 Leave a Comment
Is it possible to be graceful all of the time?
My desire is to have a graceful attitude, and to enjoy life now and later in my 50’s and beyond. I believe there is no magical age that says “now you have reached the graceful period in your life.” I believe that being graceful does not just come with age. It takes true desire and persistent and consistent action to mold my brain, my control center to my desired actions. The sooner I or someone else starts, the sooner I or someone else will experience the desired actions. I believe it’s about how I respond to events that help make and shape my character. As Napoleon Hill notes in As a man Thinketh, “life circumstance reveals a man.” If I don’t like a certain behavior, dig to the root of that behavior to change it. I have to know myself and continue to mold myself as I am revealed. Inner guidance and wisdom is paramount to changing behavior.
Controlling and limiting our response to stress have health benefits, too. Many of the so called rare conditions, heart disease, poor circulation, stroke, cancers, diabetes, and other health conditions have their beginning in our inability to cope with stress. I can either choose to succumb to life events or take control and reveal the power I have to ordain my destiny. True gold..true power stands behind all the negative emotions/ attitude/ baggage that we have.
I want to be truly unaffected by “things that don’t go the way I planned” , by harsh attitudes from myself and others , critics or pessimists that do not believe in personal achievement or the ability of others to make their dreams come true, or those who try to damper the dreams of others. I want to take full responsibility for my actions regardless of what others think, say, or do. My life..our life is not dependent on how others feel or think about who we are and what we can do. In fact, others negativity or the ” you can’t do it attitude”, says more about their state of mind/life than it does about yours or mine.
Some of the individuals I consider to have modeled graceful behavior very often in their life are/ were Jesus, Ghandi, Mother Theresa , Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra, and Dr. Phil, and my mother. Of course, I do not know their full life’s journey ,and I am aware that people may only show you a small portion of who they are. I am not their judge of character. If I see something I like, I can also decide how much of my life I want to dedicate to that particular action. It’s important to know who you want to be and have the desire and committed action to pursue your goals just like any other goal. Each day that we are alive, we have the opportunity to pursue our desires.
Striving for excellence in character is part of my mission on earth, and ….we have many examples to help us be who we want to be. There is no time stamp on gracefulness. How committed am I in carry out out the desires of my heart?
Mika
Timika S Chambers 