Timika S Chambers

Life Lessons I Learned From My Mother #10: “You Can’t Change Grown Folks”

Posted on March 19, 2022     Leave a Comment

Hi there!

I hope you and yours are having a great week, and you experience comfort, love, and rest over the next few days. For this Chambers family, we are on spring break.

Today, I am sharing another one of my mother’s life lessons via blog only instead of through my podcast, Create A Generational Love Cycle. Next week, I will continue to share the Life Principles I Learned From My Mother via my podcast.

My husband and I were having a conversation about life experiences this past Sunday. It’s so easy to spend precious energy, money, and time trying to change adults. Instead, we want people to do what we do, say what we want them to say, and think how we want them to think.

In addition, it’s so easy to become angry, bitter, and resentful when people don’t treat us how we expect them to. I experienced betrayal, confusion, and unmet expectations at a young age. But, I couldn’t live in anger, resentment, and a host of life-draining emotions and feelings because I wanted to live my life. Gratefully, my life didn’t stop at one experience, and it hasn’t stopped yet. There were no apologies from those who projected their pain on me, so I had to free myself.

I’ve leaped over hurdles, entered one-way streets, and traveled life-altering detours. Yet, the older I get, the more I realize we are co-creators of our lives. My mindset is critical to my experiences. And, often, where the struggle lies, so do the keys to freedom.

In addition, I’ve also learned that:

1. Some people (friends, mothers, fathers, husbands, coworkers, employers, employees, and others) may never be ready to admit the truth (hurting you) or let go of their pain.

2. People deserve time to heal and heal entirely from the inside out. A wound that hasn’t healed completely can worsen, such as incurring infections rooted in anger, bitterness, and others. I’ve seen wounds that didn’t heal entirely throughout my nursing career, and many people needed invasive measures to save their lives.

3. Every spiritual journey is different. Humans have free will. You can’t make someone do what they are not ready and willing to do. So often, our mother told her children, “you can’t change grown people.” So, if they are not ready, choose your next steps wisely.

4. There is a just universe. Nothing escapes the hand of divinity, whether we see the justness or not during our lifetime.

5. All will eventually become conscious of how they lived their lives.

Regardless of someone’s readiness to take responsibility for their actions, we are responsible for our lives. The driving forces for our lives are our hearts and our minds. We can label people, dish out derivatives, hurt ourselves, or call on compassion, forgiveness, love, patience, truth, and understanding, which are in all of us.

Let your experiences make you better. You can’t wait on others to acknowledge their wrong, your pain, and other residuals to live your life. In other words, you don’t need others’ apologies or acknowledgments to live your life.

Make this lifetime great! You still can!

Timika