How To Keep Antagonists In A Healthy Perspective?

Why did she treat me that way? Why is he not supporting me? I feel like you don’t want me to succeed in life? 

Often, my mother told us that “everyone has a role to play.” Yet, sometimes, it’s easy to lose sight that both protagonists (supportive people)and antagonists (nonsupportive people) help us live our truths. 

During my childhood, I started seeing the world as one big movie, which helped me to be more observant instead of judgmental. A major component of my healing was realizing everyone had a role to play in my life. People were helping me on a deeper level.

So, many people, including Jesus, experienced obstacles to living out their truths. What about the lives of great leaders such as Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, Mahatma Gandhi, presidents (John F. Kennedy, Abraham Lincoln), teacher Lou Ann Johnson (Dangerous Minds), and principal Joe Clark (Lean On Me)?

Take a moment and glance over your life. Can you list a few antagonists and protagonists? I bet you came up with a few at least two or three of each. So, the point is that no matter what, we will encounter people who help us accomplish our goals and others who seem to place barriers  (disbelief, inconsistency, harm us emotionally, mentally, physically, sexually, spiritually, don’t do what we ask them to do, tell our secrets, make fun of us, create violent acts, betray us, and others) no matter what we do or say.

So, how do we respond to our antagonists? Our response starts in our minds. How do you perceive life and the people in it? 

Here are a few questions to ponder?

  1. Do you believe that everyone has a part to play in your life? Know that you will have people who will not support you. 
  2. Do you believe that you cause people to be upset with you or “fight against you?” Often what people do has nothing to do with us. However, people come into our lives with their experiences and perceptions. Your success may remind them of their doubts and insecurities. 
  3. Does your happiness depend on who supports you or not? The people against you may start supporting you, and the people who supported you may no longer do so. Say no thank you to the emotional rollercoaster and keep believing in yourself and your dream.
  4. Do you believe the universe is out to get you? See the distractions (help to increase your confidence and conviction to purpose) for what they are. Recently, I relearned that everything works together for my good. I have no enemies, just people who are helping me to be more creative, efficient, and perseverant.

Here are a few movies to help clarify the antagonist role. I hope I didn’t give away too much information about the movies if you haven’t seen them. 

  1. Antagonists help us to see we have the skills to succeed in life? Think about the movie, The Last Dragon. Eventually, with the help of Sho’nuff, Leroy realizes the person he was searching for was himself. 
  2. Antagonists help us realize that we are somebody. For example, a small-time boxer thought he was a nobody. Apollo Creed brought out the confidence that Rocky always had.
  3. If Cinderella had not experienced unequal treatment from her stepmother and stepsisters, would she have gone to the ball to meet her Prince and future husband?

We all have antagonists in our life. When we no longer see our antagonists as enemies and more as the jumpstarters to our truth, we are no longer the victim but the student of life. We learn who we are. I do not minimize our trials and tribulations, but I don’t want to make our struggles and antagonists our primary focus. If we focus on people’s actions and inactions, we get stuck. Our primary focus is to carry out our mission in life (your heart’s desire). I don’t want anyone to be stuck, for living is moving forward in life. 

Thanks for reading! If you found this article helpful, please share it with others.

Timika

MSN BSN RN, Integrative Nutrition Health Coach, ACE Fitness Instructor, CDCES

P.S. I would love for you to join my community of being bent on using our experiences as stepping stones to our divine purpose, healing from the inside out, and achieving and sustaining optimal health. Subscribe to @timikaschambers.com by clicking the link below.

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A Sunday Refresh

Hi there!
I hope you are refueling yourself with some relaxation! When you reflect on the past, do you see your strengths or weaknesses? Do you see pain or even little moments of happiness?
Somewhere in you is the joy, peace, and love that transcends your experiences.


Are you looking for yourself today? Are you reuniting with your inner child who has dreams and hopes for a better life? Are you letting your past and current circumstances kill your convictions and inspirations or shut down the whisper that says “you are worthy of your dreams?”

You deserve joy, love, and to fulfill your purpose. You decide who and what you want from your experiences.

Take time to remember the child within and a moment to separate yourself from your experiences.

Make this lifetime great! Today, remember who you are.

Timika Chambers

MSN BSN RN, Integrative Nutrition Health Coach, ACE Fitness Instructor, CDCES

P.S. I would love for you to join my community of being bent on using our experiences as stepping stones to our divine purpose, healing from the inside out, and achieving and sustaining optimal health. Subscribe to @timikaschambers.com by clicking the link below.

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What Did I Hear In The Dark?

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Often, the emotions surrounding our pain cloud Truth’s accessibility. The myths we hold about life and people continue to blurry the lines between illusion and truth. But, no matter what we are going through, Truth is ready and willing to give us a new set of lenses, even after we reject the Truth.

The first time I heard the Voice of Reason was in Memphis, Tennessee. I was under five years old.

Here is an excerpt from Bent Not Broken, my memoir about my healing path after experiencing childhood sexual abuse.

“Besides my brother and me, there were several children in the bedroom my brother, and I shared. I don’t remember how the conversation started, but several kids started teasing me about being afraid of the dark. So, they shoved me in the closet and somehow prevented me from opening the door. The more the kids laughed, the more I pounded on the door and screamed for them to open the door. All I could see was a slither of light between where the two doors met.

Suddenly, I heard this male voice as if it was speaking through me. I stopped pounding and screaming on the door, and I listened. The Voice told me to sit down on the floor, and someone would be in to rescue me. Shortly after sitting crisscrossed on the floor, I heard another voice through the loud commotion. It was my father. I don’t remember what he said to the other children, but he was angry. Then, the door opened.

When the Voice of Reason responded later to my plea for help out of my sexual abuse experience, I responded by saying I didn’t want to get the nicer one of the two, whom I call S, in trouble. The myths I internalized about family, my elders, and S blurred the lines between right and wrong. After the secret was out, I desired to listen and trust the Voice within me.

I believe we all have access to the Voice of Reason, our inner guide to transcend experiences. But, we must be willing to hear and align our will with the Truth.

If you are in an unwanted situation, may I encourage you to take some time now, if you can, or this weekend to unravel some of the beliefs about yourself? Do you believe you have access to the Truth? Do you believe you deserve a life of joy, love, and peace, or do you believe you deserve chaos, pain, and struggles? Which of the above lenses are you using to see yourself, your experiences, and the world?

Sometimes, we need to change the lenses. But first, we need an examination of our belief system and our thoughts. Are your thoughts helping to keep you in your pain cloud or freeing you to enjoy life despite your circumstances?

Much of our resistance comes from fighting our circumstances instead of allowing the Truth to penetrate our being.  More than ever I realize that although we cannot change the past, Truth is there to bring peace that surpasses understanding.

Make this lifetime great!

Timika

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