Time to apologize…Not when you are dying

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When is it the right time to apologize? We all have that internal barometer to know when we have done something wrong to another. The fact becomes whether or not we want to acknowledge our wrong doing and admit fault. Admitting fault does not make you weak, but actually makes you stronger. This internal barometer becomes easier to read when we pay attention to it and follow it.

Sometimes we may need to be reminded every now and then, that a action or comment was mean or uncalled for. Instead of stooping ourselves down to the level of the other person involved, why not apologize and move on? So many times, our pride gets in the way of realizing that the experience you had was meant to build you up instead of tear you down.

I have wondered if this thought is mean…But, I do not want an apology when you are near death and trying to make peace with what you have done…out of fear of what is on the other side. Apologize while you are healthy and in sound mind…not when you are pushed out of fear. Do it because your heart…your conscious has lead you to it.

I know one should not wait for an apology. Life is for living. When you wait for an apology, you are not living. A lot could be cleared up though when it happens.

Who has been on your mind to call and apologize?

Until next time,
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https://www.facebook.com/pages/Timika-Chambers/306556749474089

Timika Chambers RN BSN MSN CDE
Author, Poet
A mother’s words of wisdom. From my heart to yours. Building within.

Love or wishful thinking?

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I had to read the quote more than once ‘To love is to recognize yourself in another’ Eckhart Tolle. I believe that love… if true love is practiced more, many of the distractions in life…anger, abuse in any form, bitterness, grudges, jealousy,racism, spite,war, and others would disappear eventually. It would not happen all at once. I know our beliefs and values predict our actions..How you treat others, comes from how you feel about others..For example, if you feel that others are stupid, and should be called stupid, you will not only call them stupid, but treat them as such.

Love…I am just going by a hunch, but if we truly worked at loving others, then, to me, it is much like treating others as you would like to be treated. To love means:

1. there is no need for intimidation or jealousy. We all have our own spiritual gifts/talents that we should all embrace and embody what we have been given. No one is destined to have the exact same life…We would then be robots and so bored to death. There is only one Michael Jordan, Barack Obama, Paula Deen, etc.
2. there is no need to call someone other than the name he or she is given or gives you permission to do so. This includes prejudice/racism. The excuse that I can call another a certain derogatory or racial name because someone else does it is just that…an excuse. As mentioned before, I never understood racism…to not like someone because they are a different color goes beyond the color or race to me…There has to be something beyond the color or race issue.
3. not standing in the path of others while they are walking in the same direction because you are conscious about your surroundings and want to respect others.
4. putting a leash on your dog because you truly do not know how your dog will act around another. Many deaths have been the result of a family dog attacking someone inside or outside the family because that person did not believe that the dog would. Leashing your dog, especially when it is a law or rule is out of respect for others, especially picking up the dog’s poop.
5. there is no need to push or shove another because you feel like it or want to impress others. You would not want the same done to you.
6. there is no reason to gossip about another because you would be too involved in your life, and you see no need to do so. Each has his or her own life to live and lessons to learn.
7. there is no need to damage someone’s possessions because if you truly love someone, you would be willing to let them go and not get back at them. You want to be with someone who loves you for you. This includes when you are living somewhere such as renting out an apartment or house. You would take care of the place as if it was your own.
8. there is no need of abusing or using another because you realize that life is a miracle…and everyone is here for a purpose and that reason is not to be your punching bag or anything else just to satisfy a “thought” need.
9. there is no need for murder, including wars, because it is not your right to decide that someone does not belong here. Life is worth living…
10. to have someone you call a friend do something he or she does not want to do. We do not push others to be or do something they do not want to do out of respect for their life. You should not have to prove yourself to a true friend. A true friend accepts you for who you are.

Timika Chambers RN BSN MSN CDE
A mother’s words of wisdom. From my heart to yours. Building within.

A lesson learned: Hopefully, lessons learned from Paula Deen.

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Picture from news.yahoo.com
I try to see the positive in things.  I remember saying to myself as a little girl that I want to learn from my mistakes and preferably from the mistakes of others.  I can tell you I was a bit disappointed when I heard that Paula Deen used the ‘N” word in the past, and it had not been the first time.  I may be disappointed, but not surprised as I thought about what was said about her being raised in the South.  I will further explain below.

 

I admire Paula Deen and what she has been through.  I read her memoir It ain’t all about the Cookin’ and was inspired by her book that even though life has its downs, you can still overcome and be successful.  I love her accent and the way, I thought, she remained humble about her success.  I think it is a great gift to be able to cook delicious meals with so many combinations.

 

I know that racism is still prevalent, and many of the books I read about racism and slavery deal a lot with the South.  I know that Paula Deen has been reported saying that her family does not participate in racism; however, I do not know if her children was around her when she used racist words, because if she did, they were exposed to this and especially the anger that comes with it.  Children do not forget, and just because , we were raised a certain way, does not mean that we should continue it as I mention in Chapter 11 of my book  A mother’s words of wisdom:  From my heart to yours. Building within.   Many companies and organizations are not tolerating racism or any form of discrimination, even though some individuals are still racist and discriminate against others.   Parents are such an influence on their children, especially the mothers.  I believe that another lesson that was confirmed was that parents should be careful what you do in the past, because the past may hurt you in the future.  You never know that very negative thing you are role modeling to your children, is the very thing that may negative impact their dreams, goals, and future successes.

 

It made me feel good that the Food Network was vocal about not tolerating discrimination.  I cannot lie about that.  I will miss Paula Deen on the show. Thank you, Paula, for your honesty in admitting the use of racist words.   I do wish you well.

 

I would love to hear your comments.

 

Sincerely,

 

Timika Chambers

A mother’s words of wisdom.  From my heart to yours.