Self-Care Is Self-Love: People-Pleasing Is Neither

Sometimes, like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, we have exactly what we need and don’t see it or choose to overlook it. People pleasing doesn’t prove anything other than questions our sanity.

When we do so much for others, and less for ourselves, we have lost some self-respect, and therefore, are not practicing self-care. When people ask you to do something that sets off your ethical and moral barometer, we must listen to the alarm and act accordingly.

Early on, I learned that no amount of doing leads to honesty and respect. When the secret was out about my sexual abuse experience, one of the male family members lied about his involvement. Then, I knew that love is not built on pleasing others. Therefore, I wanted someone to love me for me, and not what I can do for him. Relationships continue to reinforce that I I must love myself first. People will often treat you how you treat yourself.

Learn more about my memoir, Bent Not Broken, which shares how I used my sexual abuse experience to formulate life principles and additional healthy living tips by signing up below for my quarterly newsletter. Be bent on the idea that adversity will make you stronger.

Everyday is a day to remake yourself into the person you want to be and not a compilation of unleashed pain especially others’ pain.

Make this lifetime great!

Timika

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Beyond The Mirror

What you do to others, you have already done to yourself.

No one said we had to continue the past. Another generation, another train of thought.

Make this lifetime great, and to your best health!

Timika

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What Is Your Foundation Made Out Of?

Bricks, sticks, wood, other people’s opinions, “the way it’s always been done,” fears, hatred, envy, love empathy, equality, compassion, or others?

As I was writing today’s quote, I thought about the Three Little Pigs story. When life’s storms come huffing and puffing to blow your house down, will your house (you) come falling down? If your house falls apart, what have you learned in rebuilding your home?

We are all responsible for our homes. What may have worked in the past, may not work now. And it is okay to ask, “Did that thing really work in the past?

After experiencing sexual abuse, I needed to rebuild my house with something steadier. When the wolf returned, I was more prepared because I reached out to nature (God) and asked for help. I listened, observed, and built a relationship with myself. I started trusting myself and attracted the right equipment.

Sexual abuse did not break me. I became more aware of the importance of building a foundation because of my sexual abuse storm.

I didn’t know that I needed to heal, but I sought something more. I have based many of my choices in life off the thought “If one person can do it, so can I.”

You have the ability to heal; nothing overcomes you unless you let it.

The blueprint to our foundations starts in our mind and consists of our internalizations.

What have you internalized from your abuse? How is it helping you to achieve the dream you have inside of you?

To Your Best Life,

Timika

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