What Did I Learn From My Pain?
Posted on May 27, 2021 Leave a Comment
I knew before age 5 that abusing someone was wrong. I reported to another family member that my father was abusing my mom. I questioned if I was wrong because of the backlash I received from my father. Unfortunately, sprinkles of doubt seeds were instilled into the soil of my inner garden, and I experienced the cycle of pain for the first time.
When I experienced abuse at age 5-10, I struggled with telling the truth, but I learned something about myself before, during, and after my personal experience with abuse.
I realized:
I didn’t want to force anyone to do anything they do not want to do. I carried this principle at the forefront of my mind and heart.
I do not have to be in pain. I wanted to do so much with my life. I wanted to see Saint Louis, Missouri. I craved seeing the rest of God’s world. I wanted to drive and experience real love. I needed to have a normal life. I desired happiness and to do the things I enjoyed. I loved food and the freedom to be who and what I wanted to be. I loved spending time in nature and thinking about life, and sleeping. I loved taking pictures with my camera and with my mind. I loved art and the ability to record life on a piece of paper.
I didn’t like pain. I sought inner guidance to avoid, minimize, and release lingering anger, disappointment, guilt, shame, resentment, and vengeance, for these emotions and feelings were distractions to enjoying life. All of my efforts took time. Still, I didn’t want to miss out on what life had for me. Every moment of feeling in despair reminded me that I didn’t want to feel that way, and I was determined to find my way back to my Truth.
I desired the Truth and to be in alignment with nature. I thought that if there is an all-knowing, ever-present, and loving power in the world, I wanted to have a relationship with it. I listened to and incorporated my mother’s teachings into my life. I read the Bible and learned the Lord’s prayer. I absorbed Jesus’ characteristics and changed to a student approach to life. I observed people and looked for God’s messages in movies, television, and life. I was a learner and not a victim of life, so when things didn’t work out as I wanted, I spent less time beating myself up about my decisions. I learned and moved on, which is what my mother often encouraged us.
Now, at age 46, I understand more about the power of the mind. The brain is small, but a powerful organ, and is our connection to the universal mind. We can choose healing instead of pain.
Refuse to continue pain, and be bent on creating a cycle of Love. And see what doors open up to you. Even if you don’t know what you want, make a list of what you don’t want. Then the want-door opens.
I’m a little bent because of my pain, but I am facing in the right direction.
Make this lifetime great! I believe you can. And, you still have time.
Timika
MSN BSN RN, Integrative Nutrition Health Coach, ACE Fitness Instructor, CDCES
P.S. I would love for you to join my community of being bent on using our experiences as stepping stones to our divine purpose, healing from the inside out, and achieving and sustaining optimal health. Join below.
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These Questions May Help You Change Your State of Mind
Posted on May 26, 2021 Leave a Comment
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Call Me By My Name
Posted on May 25, 2021 Leave a Comment
I never liked labels. Early on, our mother taught us to call people by their names, a principle she learned through her personal experience with teasing and through someone she loved.
During my mother’s childhood, people teased her about her “skinny legs.” She shared her disappointment with her father. Then, he shared his story of being teased about the size of his head. She never forgot what it felt like to be teased or her father’s lingering pain from childhood; therefore, she was passionate about reinforcing her principle to call people by their name.
When some family members described an out-of-town family member, they described her by saying she was “crazy.” When I met the family member, I realized that she was not crazy; she was misunderstood. But, I saw the impact of other’s opinions on her identity. I saw the pain in her eyes; there was more to the wounds she had.
When I graduated from nursing school, some people referred to me as a “nurse.” I didn’t like that label either. I just wanted to be Timika, a person that is more than her experience. Part of what helped me to move forward from childhood sexual abuse, was avoiding labels based on fear.
For the first time I watched approximately 40 minutes of Oprah’s new show The Me You Can’t See, last night. Unfortunately, we live in a world in which people project their fears and insecurities on others. I believe many of our adulthood issues stem from our childhood wounds often projected by others. At some point, we believe that others’ opinions mean more than what we think of ourselves. Fortunately, illusions do not stand up to the Truth. The Truth is in us and waiting for us to recognize that we are not what others think of us.
Our parents had reasons for choosing our names, including in memory of a loved one, someone they admired, or the love of a particular name). Who am I to trash over that name? Now, I admit that I am not an expert at remembering names, but I do try. I go further in seeing beyond a person’s name. I see a person who matters and is here for a divine reason.
We are all on a journey of self expression and identification. Especially in childhood we need time to figure ourselves out without the opposition of others. In the same breath, we must know we can’t stop others from talking. As my mother told us, “as long as people have a tongue they will talk.”
Although I learn from my experiences, I am not my experiences. I am not my detours in life, career, profession, or trade. I am not your opinion or stereotype of who I should be. I am not the color of my skin. I am a divine spirit in a unique human form with a mission to complete just like you.
We must know who we are so we do not fall for who we aren’t. You are more than your experiences. You are here for a purpose.
Make this lifetime great!
Timika
I would love for you to be a part of my community bent on healing from the inside out, achieving and sustaining the best health possible, and reuniting with our divine purpose, which is the Light within us.
Timika S Chambers 