Love or wishful thinking?
Posted on June 29, 2013 Leave a Comment
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I had to read the quote more than once ‘To love is to recognize yourself in another’ Eckhart Tolle. I believe that love… if true love is practiced more, many of the distractions in life…anger, abuse in any form, bitterness, grudges, jealousy,racism, spite,war, and others would disappear eventually. It would not happen all at once. I know our beliefs and values predict our actions..How you treat others, comes from how you feel about others..For example, if you feel that others are stupid, and should be called stupid, you will not only call them stupid, but treat them as such.
Love…I am just going by a hunch, but if we truly worked at loving others, then, to me, it is much like treating others as you would like to be treated. To love means:
1. there is no need for intimidation or jealousy. We all have our own spiritual gifts/talents that we should all embrace and embody what we have been given. No one is destined to have the exact same life…We would then be robots and so bored to death. There is only one Michael Jordan, Barack Obama, Paula Deen, etc.
2. there is no need to call someone other than the name he or she is given or gives you permission to do so. This includes prejudice/racism. The excuse that I can call another a certain derogatory or racial name because someone else does it is just that…an excuse. As mentioned before, I never understood racism…to not like someone because they are a different color goes beyond the color or race to me…There has to be something beyond the color or race issue.
3. not standing in the path of others while they are walking in the same direction because you are conscious about your surroundings and want to respect others.
4. putting a leash on your dog because you truly do not know how your dog will act around another. Many deaths have been the result of a family dog attacking someone inside or outside the family because that person did not believe that the dog would. Leashing your dog, especially when it is a law or rule is out of respect for others, especially picking up the dog’s poop.
5. there is no need to push or shove another because you feel like it or want to impress others. You would not want the same done to you.
6. there is no reason to gossip about another because you would be too involved in your life, and you see no need to do so. Each has his or her own life to live and lessons to learn.
7. there is no need to damage someone’s possessions because if you truly love someone, you would be willing to let them go and not get back at them. You want to be with someone who loves you for you. This includes when you are living somewhere such as renting out an apartment or house. You would take care of the place as if it was your own.
8. there is no need of abusing or using another because you realize that life is a miracle…and everyone is here for a purpose and that reason is not to be your punching bag or anything else just to satisfy a “thought” need.
9. there is no need for murder, including wars, because it is not your right to decide that someone does not belong here. Life is worth living…
10. to have someone you call a friend do something he or she does not want to do. We do not push others to be or do something they do not want to do out of respect for their life. You should not have to prove yourself to a true friend. A true friend accepts you for who you are.
Timika Chambers RN BSN MSN CDE
A mother’s words of wisdom. From my heart to yours. Building within.
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A lesson learned: Hopefully, lessons learned from Paula Deen.
Posted on June 22, 2013 3 Comments
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I try to see the positive in things. I remember saying to myself as a little girl that I want to learn from my mistakes and preferably from the mistakes of others. I can tell you I was a bit disappointed when I heard that Paula Deen used the ‘N†word in the past, and it had not been the first time. I may be disappointed, but not surprised as I thought about what was said about her being raised in the South. I will further explain below.
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I admire Paula Deen and what she has been through. I read her memoir It ain’t all about the Cookin’ and was inspired by her book that even though life has its downs, you can still overcome and be successful. I love her accent and the way, I thought, she remained humble about her success. I think it is a great gift to be able to cook delicious meals with so many combinations.
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I know that racism is still prevalent, and many of the books I read about racism and slavery deal a lot with the South. I know that Paula Deen has been reported saying that her family does not participate in racism; however, I do not know if her children was around her when she used racist words, because if she did, they were exposed to this and especially the anger that comes with it. Children do not forget, and just because , we were raised a certain way, does not mean that we should continue it as I mention in Chapter 11 of my book  A mother’s words of wisdom: From my heart to yours. Building within.   Many companies and organizations are not tolerating racism or any form of discrimination, even though some individuals are still racist and discriminate against others.  Parents are such an influence on their children, especially the mothers. I believe that another lesson that was confirmed was that parents should be careful what you do in the past, because the past may hurt you in the future. You never know that very negative thing you are role modeling to your children, is the very thing that may negative impact their dreams, goals, and future successes.
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It made me feel good that the Food Network was vocal about not tolerating discrimination. I cannot lie about that. I will miss Paula Deen on the show. Thank you, Paula, for your honesty in admitting the use of racist words.  I do wish you well.
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I would love to hear your comments.
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Sincerely,
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Timika Chambers
A mother’s words of wisdom. From my heart to yours.
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Bullying and its rightful place
Posted on June 17, 2013 2 Comments
The one thing that infuriates me the most is hearing that someone has been bullied by someone else. Whether it is name-calling (race, religion, color, intellectual abilities, and sexual preference, and/or forcing someone to do something they do not want to do, I do not care if it is the sister, brother, cousin, mother, father (because I have heard and seen parents bully their children) or any other individual.. I believe some things that fall under bullying include child abuse, elderly abuse, and domestic abuse and/or domestic violence, and rape. No one has the right to make someone else feel inferior or feel that he or she does not belong in this world or that the world would be a better place without him or her. How does that person know that? What gives another the right to have someone question his or her worth—to help feel inferior?
I heard today about a study taking place regarding bullying within the family including sisters and brothers. The one place that children hope to feel a sense of belonging…to be accepted for who they are, loved unconditionally, to be called by their name, and not make them feel inferior, is the very same place that some children are experiencing bullying…Are you kidding me? Loving, caring, and respecting others start in the home…If it does not start there, where does it start. Then, we want to wonder how come children turn into bullies as young adolescents, teenagers, and adults.
I am even more disgusted when I hear that someone was involved with helping someone else feel so bad about who he or she is that this person decided to take his or her life…to no longer be here…that his or her life was not worth living…..when he or she was designed to be here….. To have a place in this world…to explore, experience, to be happy, to live a passionate life, and it came to an end because the other person (bully)had issues that were not dealt with correctly.
I remember, years ago, in my undergraduate program, I witnessed a man hitting a woman and forcing her to do something. I immediately stopped what I was doing, beyond shock, and yelled out to this person to stop. I also told someone as well, but the couple ran away. Keep in mind that I was in the library…but wrong was wrong. I did not know the couple, I just knew it was wrong. It was a chance that I took, and I would do it again…Right is right….
When you are bullying, I believe it says more about you…who you are on the inside, and it does not bring good thoughts to mind. There is probably nothing wrong with the other person, something is more wrong with you. I am not picking on someone who is a bully…and you know if you are…but stop for a moment and ask why are you bullying someone??? Is it fun? Does it make you feel better about yourself? Does it relieve anger, stress, fear, or intimidation? Why would picking on someone else be a reason to laugh? To get excited? We were all given names for a reason….special reasons..after a grandmother, after a soap opera actress…It does not matter. Call me by my name and none other unless you have my permission. Get to know me before you tell me I do not belong….Besides the words “I do not belong do not belong in the statement of describing someone. We all have something valuable to add to this world, and who I am should be respected, as I will respect you.
As I mention, in Chapter 10, of my book, whether you had witnessed bullying, name-calling or any other negative behavior, in or outside your home, it is wrong. Period. You do not have to continue it on in your family or in your life. You have the power to change things.
Bullying and name calling has no place. It does not belong here on this earth. My mother did not put up with us calling each other names or fighting. If you got caught you would hear it, and/ or feel it. She did not even like the word “punk”. Forgive me mother. It is just an example. Loving and respecting others belong here. We have to learn to accept others for who they are and limit the fighting, bullying, and name-calling. There is so much beautiful variety on this earth, and everyone deserves a chance to be who they are…If you live in love, you will be more conscious of what you do and say around others.
Sincerely,
Timika Chambers
Author “A mother’s words of wisdom. From my heart to yours. Building withinâ€
