What Treasures Did I Uncover From Early Childhood Disappointment?

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I loved playing in the streets as a child. We didn’t have to worry about a lot of traffic entering and exiting our streets, for at the end of our street was a large field extending for miles and an alley that ran alongside it. 

Sometime after the secret, several kids including myself, were outside playing in the streets. Somehow S, one of the two male family members who misused my body, made it over in front of me. All of a sudden, he turned around and wasn’t smiling anymore. He said “it wasn’t that bad.” For a minute, I stood there in disbelief. First of all, he denied his involvement in my sexual abuse experience since day one. Second of all, he downplayed what he already denied. But, in that moment, I knew his denial had nothing to do with me. I did the right thing in telling the truth. 

I didn’t know what integrity meant at the time, but I knew I didn’t want to spend a lot of time on either end (not telling the truth and causing someone to think something so big was so small of an issue). No child should ever experience sexual abuse or ever feel that being forced and manipulated to do something is no big deal. 

How did I turn S’s denial and minimization of my experience with childhood sexual abuse?

  1. I faced what I didn’t like. I was more grateful about J showing me who I didn’t want to be. Then, I knew who I wanted to be.
  2. I practiced telling the truth as much as possible from something simple as the color of grass to my emotions and every day situations. 
  3. I remembered how it felt to have someone minimize my emotions, feelings, and body (mental construct). No one should ever feel like an outcast for telling the truth. I tried my best to include others (classmates, friends, new kids on the block, to coworkers)in whatever I was doing. 

My childhood sexual abuse experienced uncovered several treasures, including:

1. The “what I say to you. I say to me” principle. If I encourage you to do something, I should be doing it myself.

2. As a child, I prayed to see the innocence in people. I did not want my heart to harden because of what someone else did. Oh man! This one hit me again. It’s easy to judge people when you feel like they have disappointed you. 

As I focused on the treasures of the disappointment, I continued to chip away at the guilt, shame, and other emotions and feelings lingering from my experience with childhood sexual abuse. 

We do not have to live with anger, blame, guilt, shame, resentment, and vengeance. Embrace the experience and know there are treasures waiting for you. 

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. (Matthew 7:7, NIV)

Thank you for reading my post!

Make this lifetime great!

Timika

MSN BSN RN, Integrative Nutrition Health Coach, ACE Fitness Instructor, CDCES

P.S. I would love for you to join my community of being bent on using our experiences as stepping stones to our divine purpose, healing from the inside out, and achieving and sustaining optimal health. Subscribe to @timikaschambers.com by clicking the link below.

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Wherever You Are Let Nature Remind You Of This

Continue reading “Wherever You Are Let Nature Remind You Of This”

Part Of Accepting My Truth Was Shining The Lights On My Myths Part 1.

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Often, what imprisons us are our beliefs and expectations about people. I knew I had to shine the light on my assumptions to set myself free of anger, disappointment, and magnetizing friends.

Here are five major myths I demystify in Chapter One of my soon-to-be-published memoir, Bent Not Broken.

  1. Older individuals are wise and always make the right decisions. Truth: Wisdom is a choice, and because someone is older does not mean they always do the right thing.

2. People are less likely to believe you when the person abusing you is liked or popular. Truth: The Truth is the truth, regardless of the person telling it and the one involved.

3. All family members care for you and protect you from harm. Truth: Everyone experiences anger, jealousy, and other emotions and does not always deal with their emotions and feelings in healthy ways. Sometimes pain blinds people from others’ pain.

4. Telling on family members is breaking a family code. Talking back to an adult or talking while an adult talked got you the wrong look or a smack across the face. Truth: We must hold everyone accountable for their actions regardless of family ties, social status, and any other distractions to accountability.

5. People will not like me if I do not comply with their desires. Truth: I am not here to be liked by others. The Truth does not care about clicks.

I didn’t realize my assumptions all at once. As you know, healing is a process, and each day provided me priceless treasures in understanding the weakened areas in my foundation.

What myths about people are you still holding onto? How important is it that you reexamine your beliefs about people and life?

Make this lifetime great!

Timika

MSN BSN RN, Integrative Nutrition Health Coach, ACE Fitness Instructor, CDCES

P.S. I would love for you to join my community of being bent on using our experiences as stepping stones to our divine purpose, healing from the inside out, and achieving and sustaining optimal health. Join below. Also check out this week’s podcast below.

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How Can You Use Your Emotions To Free Yourself? Create A Generational Love Cycle With Timika S Chambers

Although your path may appear dark sometimes, your emotions can be the light on your healing path.  Thanks for listening!
  1. How Can You Use Your Emotions To Free Yourself?
  2. What Myths Are You Holding On That's Preventing Healing From The Inside Out?
  3. Shine The Light On They Myths You Are Holding
  4. Start With Your Truth
  5. How I Came Up With The Name of This Podcast