Base on which ye stands
Posted on November 5, 2016 Leave a Comment
Our beliefs about ourselves, the world, and others will show in our action toward ourselves and others. A foundation may look strong until it is shaken up a bit by life circumstances. Is your foundation or the base of you, built on truth, integrity, honor, love, compassion, empathy, honest communication, and other positive virtues, or on superiority/inferiority, anger, frustration, bitterness, and/or hate?
Do you immediately forgive yourself when you do not accomplish your goals for the day? Do you continuously blame yourself or berate others when things do not go your way? Do you congratulate yourself for trying a new skill even if you were not as successful as you wanted to be at the skill? Or do you feel that you are incompetent when something does not turn out the way the picture in the magazine looked? Better yet, do you hold a grudge when someone does not do what they said they were going to do? Or, do you immediately forgive that person and ask what could you have done to help? Or do you just assume that, that person did not want to help anyway? Do we feel that it is important to communicate our feelings to our friends/love ones, or do we feel that they will not understand, and it is not worth sharing our feelings? Do we feel that others, especially our loved ones, are capable of empathizing with us? Are we quick to judge others? If yes, then more than likely we are quick to judge ourselves.
If we are quick to show compassion to ourselves when we do not achieve the goals we set forth for the day, then we are more likely to show compassion to others when they do not achieve their goals. Your internal dialogue will sometimes be the same conversation you have with others (mostly negative or mostly positive). It’s hard to be positive toward others if you are negative towards yourself, and vice versa.
If you motivate yourself when you are working on a project, then you are probably more likely to try to motivate others. If you feel that your emotions/feelings are of value, then you are more likely to share those emotions/feelings with your loved ones. They are your loved ones, right? Do we see people as capable of achieving their goals, or do we feel that we should always do things for them for the task to come out, right? Do we enable others to think for themselves and care for themselves, or do we enable them to depend on us for everything, and then we get mad and feel like “he can’t do anything himself?”
Does everyone have the basic right to live here on earth? Does everyone regardless of race, culture, religion, gender, (and anything else used to separate humanity) deserve the to be treated the same way? If you are hard on yourself and set expectations so high that when you do not achieve your goals, you may end of feeling anxious, depressed, moody, withdrawing from others, you are probably hard on others or will be most of the time. You will tend to have unrealistic expectations for others, and many times you will end up disappointed.
If you are dissatisfied with how you treat others, look at your foundation. How sturdy is your base? Here you will find the root of your behaviors. How you treat others may reflect how you feel about yourself.
Timika
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Sincere gratitude
Posted on November 4, 2016 Leave a Comment
As I reflect on today and the past, there are many things that I would like to express sincere gratitude for; I am thankful:
- To be alive and have lived a great portion of today. I know many people, from high school, family, and friends who are not alive today. Life is not guaranteed. I love Tim McGraw’s song Live life like you were dying. His song reminds me of the importance of living each day to the fullest and to have fun. I am getting better at this!
- For my past and present. Our past experiences were not meant to make us bitter. We are to learn from our actions and their consequences…so that we can be more compassionate when others commit the same life lessons, and even show others how to live through events and be stronger and better…You cannot break something that is already whole. Enough time feeling sorry for events that happened in the past. Live for the present and plan to make the best out of this life. As in #1, we never know when tomorrow or today will be our last day.
- For the ability to think clearly and make rational judgments. I love the ability to self-reflect and make better decisions. You are what you feed yourself, including the people and things you expose yourself to. Keep mindful of the company you keep, the shows you watch, and the music you listen to. No one is perfect; it’s okay to strive for excellence!
- To have a “roof over my head”. In 2013, over 12, 000 people were homeless in the state of Ohio. It’s getting cold outside and every fall/winter, I am so grateful to have a warm home.
- For the ability to write and document life. I have been keeping a journal since I was 13/14, and it’s such a blessing to be able to write to understand life and life’s concepts.
Timika
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Bludgeon: Let it go
Posted on November 3, 2016 Leave a Comment
Bludgeon
When one feels like he needs to force another person to do something, it is more about the person who is forcing or threatening the other person to do something than about the person you are trying to force. If someone really wants to do something, he or she will. For example, I as a Certified Diabetes Educator, I don’t force someone who has been diagnosed with diabetes to check his or her blood sugar. If after all of the assessment and proper education is done, and that person chooses to not check his or her blood sugar and suffer the possible consequences, I respect his or her decision.
In my personal and professional life, I have found to always do my part and then let go. My mother taught me that when you have done your part , let go. Believe it or not, I have seen others accomplish their goals and incorporate positive behaviors in their life after that person no longer feels forced to do so. People want to be respected and not just told to do something.
Forcing someone to do something he or she doesn’t want to do obviously means that person doesn’t want to do whatever it is you are asking him or her to do. Maybe instead of forcing, assess the situation, if it is not blatantly obvious why the person does not want to do something, then ask yourself ” am I being reasonable to ask such a thing” and if so, then ask the person why or she doesn’t want to do what’s being asked. Maybe that person is afraid or doesn’t know how.
Is it because of ego that we are trying to force someone to do something? More than likely…yes.
I do believe people have free will to live their life and are capable of doing so as long as they are able to ( mentally, physically, etc). If someone has issues with low self esteem, self -efficacy or confidence in his or her abilities, then that person may need time for personal development/ growth
If you feel you have to force someone to do some unreasonable or even reasonable action, know it’s time to back off and check yourself.
Timika
Timika S Chambers 