“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.” -Catherine Ponder
When I ponder the first part of the quote above” you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel” and individuals I perceived to have wronged me , there isn’t anyone I really want to be that close to for an extended period of time. I must admit that I used to hold grudges for long periods of time, but the more I realized how I was hurting myself and blocking my gifts/blessings, the more I began to let go. I began to see that holding grudges was a waste of time….a waste of my time. My strongest desire is to be me…my highest self and explore who I am and how I fit into this world….I want to continue to grow and unfold into who I am destined to be. Right now, unnecessary baggage can only get in the way, and I have enought to deal with in my life.
If you think of an event or someone you perceived has wronged you often (mornings, evenings, when things go wrong), you have a problem. If you say that you hate this person and what they stand for and find yourself repeating words in the same tone /manner and start acting like them or better yet, someone tells you , “hey, you just reminded me of……(that person you say you despise), then you have a really really BIG problem. Your focus has become the other person and what they did or said to you….No one deserves that much of my time…Trust me….they are probably not thinking of you that often…
As you probably noticed, I used the words perceive or perceived
wrong doing. It has always and will be always my decision and your decision on how we interpret what someone says or does. In any given situation, I can choose to interpret that person or event as the world is conspiring against me or choose to listen to the message and not get so caught up in the messenger and how the message was presented. I can choose to see the good in any situation and choose how I want to respond. Even if I respond by saying something negative at first, I can reflect on my response, and learn from it. I can then ask myself why did I respond that way and what could I have done differently? Even if that other person meant to hurt you….remember that “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive.” Gensis 50:20
After years of hearing and reading about the the importance of forgiveness, I am getting better at not holding grudges and understanding why forgiveness is for me and not the other person. When you are constantly looking back and thinking about an event or thinking of someone who you perceived has done you wrong, you are wasting time if you are brewing in negativity, resentment, and revenge. Looking back in the past at perceived negative events can cause you to miss blessings and your next steps in making your dreams and goals come true. You are not fully present, and can literally trip over and miss your next big move. Your brain is not focused on the now, and you are missing important keys to understanding yourself and living your best life.
Being a nurse and reflecting on our wonderful body and its response to stress and negativity, we are doing more harm to our body when we are holding on to grudges and resenting others. Almost every known condition and rare condition there is, is somehow related to stress we put on our body…including emotional/mental stress.
I just finished reading Success through a Postive Mental Attitude by Napoleon Hill . What a great book! It was easy to read with great examples on how to apply the principles discussed in the book. I came across lots of great quotes, and I absolutely love the quote “Direct your thoughts, control our emotions, and ordain our destiny. My mother would always say what’s done is done. Move on. If you do not move on with your life now, when will you move? It’s a waste of energy and time to hold on to grudges and resent others. We all have our limited time here on earth. What are you doing with that time….carrying someone else’s baggage, thinking about how you can get someone else back?
Let’s heal and life our best life!