What Did I Hear In The Dark?
Often, the emotions surrounding our pain cloud Truth’s accessibility. The myths we hold about life and people continue to blurry the lines between illusion and truth. But, no matter what we are going through, Truth is ready and willing to give us a new set of lenses, even after we reject the Truth.
The first time I heard the Voice of Reason was in Memphis, Tennessee. I was under five years old.
Here is an excerpt from Bent Not Broken, my memoir about my healing path after experiencing childhood sexual abuse.
“Besides my brother and me, there were several children in the bedroom my brother, and I shared. I don’t remember how the conversation started, but several kids started teasing me about being afraid of the dark. So, they shoved me in the closet and somehow prevented me from opening the door. The more the kids laughed, the more I pounded on the door and screamed for them to open the door. All I could see was a slither of light between where the two doors met.
Suddenly, I heard this male voice as if it was speaking through me. I stopped pounding and screaming on the door, and I listened. The Voice told me to sit down on the floor, and someone would be in to rescue me. Shortly after sitting crisscrossed on the floor, I heard another voice through the loud commotion. It was my father. I don’t remember what he said to the other children, but he was angry. Then, the door opened.
When the Voice of Reason responded later to my plea for help out of my sexual abuse experience, I responded by saying I didn’t want to get the nicer one of the two, whom I call S, in trouble. The myths I internalized about family, my elders, and S blurred the lines between right and wrong. After the secret was out, I desired to listen and trust the Voice within me.
I believe we all have access to the Voice of Reason, our inner guide to transcend experiences. But, we must be willing to hear and align our will with the Truth.
If you are in an unwanted situation, may I encourage you to take some time now, if you can, or this weekend to unravel some of the beliefs about yourself? Do you believe you have access to the Truth? Do you believe you deserve a life of joy, love, and peace, or do you believe you deserve chaos, pain, and struggles? Which of the above lenses are you using to see yourself, your experiences, and the world?
Sometimes, we need to change the lenses. But first, we need an examination of our belief system and our thoughts. Are your thoughts helping to keep you in your pain cloud or freeing you to enjoy life despite your circumstances?
Much of our resistance comes from fighting our circumstances instead of allowing the Truth to penetrate our being. More than ever I realize that although we cannot change the past, Truth is there to bring peace that surpasses understanding.
Make this lifetime great!