Loving yourself is not vain love. When you love yourself, you accept who you are. Your acceptance comes from knowing who you really are and truly appreciating the miracle you see in the mirror. Then, out of an abundance of self-love, you express this love to others.
So, instead of focusing on appreciating, accepting, and acknowledging others, start with the person in the mirror. If you dislike or hate others, look at the person in the mirror again. What do you dislike about yourself?