How Do You Create The Circle Of Influence You Need After A Traumatic Experience?

Photo by Masha Raymers on

We are in the last few days of June. In the last week of the month, I focus on resources for whatever topic I am discussing. Whatever you are going through, I want you to know you are not alone. Whatever support you feel you don’t have , you can create, for every moment in darkness, a light is available to lead you to your healing path.

During and after an unwanted event, it’s easy to feel like you are alone. Although family surrounded me during my childhood sexual abuse experience, fear, guilt, and shame kept me imprisoned in a dark secret. I felt as though I was in a maze with no way out.

Childhood sexual abuse is not the only experience that brings anger, betrayal, darkness, guilt, resentment, and shame. Any experience that violates our divine rights to dignity and respect can bring darkness. 

What I forgot was I am not alone. My voice and my body matter.

No matter what you have gone through or going through, please know that you are not alone. You just haven’t found the person who can help show you your light, and it’s not your fault when people are not ready to heal their pain. I know you may feel like you are in the dark, but your light is still there, waiting for you to recognize it.

After the abuse, I stood between the crevice of my bed and my dresser and looked at the sky. The next thing I knew, I said I want to be aligned with nature. A series of events took place, including reading the entire King James Bible, learning the Lord’s prayer, and identifying with Jesus’ story and admiration for his character traits. Jesus loved in the face of betrayal, healed in the face of disbelief, and showed compassion where there was hate and judgment.

How do you create your circle of influence?

  1. Understand how priceless you are. There is no one like you in the world, and others’ actions do not reduce your worth. 
  2. Speak your truth no matter who is not ready to hear it, and keep speaking your truth until you are heard and the matter is dealt with.
  3. Focus on who want to be. Seek empowering stories of those who moved forward despite their experiences through different mediums (books, blogs, songs, television, seminars, webinars, etc.). No one said that all of the people in your circle of influence have to be living. Observe others’ behavior before you include them in your circle of influence. Learn from others. Who do you want to be and not be?
  4. Focus on your dreams. I held on to my childhood dreams of traveling the world, living in Saint Louis, living in my own apartment, and having a family someday.
  5. Spend time in self-reflection every day. I spent a lot of time admiring nature’s stillness, pondering my mother’s words of wisdom, learning about the impact & lingering effect of unhealed wounds, and attuning myself to the Voice Within Me.
  6. Become what you didn’t have. If people didn’t support you while you were going through it, be supportive. If people didn’t believe you, be trustworthy. If people didn’t listen to your voice, listen. If people avoided your personal space, be respectful of others. If others didn’t speak loving words to you, lift someone else with a kind word. You become what you give. We don’t have to repeat the cycle of pain. Instead, we choose to create a cycle of love.

Make this lifetime great! You deserve it. Please share this post and subscribe to my quarterly empowering newsletters.


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