It’s Not Too Late To Break Free

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Domestic abuse was my first experience with the generational cycle of pain. Before the age of five, I reported to one of my father’s family members that my father was abusing my mother. Here is an excerpt from my current & revised titled manuscript, The Audacity to Write My Truth:

“Sometime after my plea for help, I sat in a chair in our Memphis apartment kitchen with my back facing the front door. Unbeknownst to me at the time, I was on trial for telling the Truth. My father kept circling back and forth, coming closer to me, flailing his arms and hands, and yelling at me. Of all the words he said that day, the only thing I remember was I had no business telling someone what was going on at home. I couldn’t believe what I heard. At some point, I turned inward, questioning if I was the one who had done something wrong. Finally, I returned to the present moment, thinking that I was right to expose my father, for, in my mind, I couldn’t make abusing someone right. But, unbeknownst to me, seeds of self-doubt entered my subconscious mind (inner garden).”

Unfortunately, the belief that it is okay to project our pain on others still circulates the world. Domestic violence is a microcosm of the larger generational cycle of pain. We must undo the belief that we have the right to emotionally, physically, socially, and spiritually hurt others. Blaming people who abuse others and those who accept abuse is never the answer to breaking a cycle of pain, for the one who abuses another is in pain. All of us deserve to be free.

  1. Our actions and inactions have a direct and indirect effect on others. For example, we teach others by example how to manage their emotions. If I don’t hold a person accountable for their pain and say “I’m sorry, it’s my fault you feel angry.” We have just taught them their pain is the result of another’s actions instead of their perception of the experience. 
  2. All of us embody abilities, capabilities, gifts, and talents and have a divine right to self-expression without the opposition of others. 
  3. All of us are accountable and responsible for our pain. 
  4. Experiences are opportunities to show us where we are on our journey of self-actualization. 
  5. There are life lessons and not mistakes. Therefore, there is no need to dehumanize ourselves or others when we don’t get the results we want. Instead, we learn, grow, and live.
  6. There is never a reason to hit, kick, push, demean, minimize, dehumanize another human being. Our actions directly reflect our beliefs and state of being and not the other way around. 
  7. Children mimic what they hear and see (continuing the cycle of pain). A battered wife can quickly become a battered daughter or son. A father who takes his anger out on his wife can soon turn into a son who takes his emotions out on his sister, teachers, and other women.
  8. Our body is the temple for our divine purpose; therefore, we honor the sanctity of the human body.
  9. Everything we do stems from the choice to accept or reject the Truth presented before and within us.
  10. There are no jokes about birth, color, race, religion, body parts, and other personal information. Often, abuse starts with subtle words and then abusive action. 
  11. A title does not authorize abuse and misuse of someone. 
  12. Healing is necessary for the regeneration of oneself and the world.
  13. Our experiences feed off one another. The more pain we project, the more pain we feel.
  14. Our journey is not about keeping tradition, but an evolvement of consciousness, having the audacity to change what is not working for the good of humanity.
  15. No one is greater or smaller than the other person.
  16. Opportunities for self-awareness, self-improvement, and self-mastery are some of the treasures we can find in every experience.

Everyone has the right to be here and express the Love inside of them. Honor yourself by honoring others.

Make this lifetime great!

Timika

2 Comments on “It’s Not Too Late To Break Free”

  1. This is an excellent post. You are so right, no one has the right to abuse us or those around us. I come from an abusive home and it made me think this way. As a child I did not talk about what was going on in our house because of fear. Pure fear of harder abuse. After leaving our home I decided no one would ever abuse me again. Thank God I married a very kind man. We had our hard times, survived them and now married 55 years. Your posts are important. Thanks.

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